Key points To protect yourself from a destructive person, you must train yourself to adopt key mindsets and strategies. In a relationship with a disordered individual, focusing on the positive can put you at risk. If someone has hurt you once, expect them to do it again. Over a decade ago, I wrote a post […]
We all have that coworker. Maybe they’re passive-aggressive, blunt to the point of rudeness, self-centered, thrive on drama, complain constantly, or seem to rub everyone the wrong way. And we know that person is exhausting. We dread seeing them at work, their name in our inbox, or their phone number on our call display. Dreading […]
I remember my first day of high school, my first day at my new job, and the first time I went on a date. I was scared. Getting married, having a baby, and buying our first home all scared me. Scared of the unknown. Those experiences were all good things, but my fear stripped my […]
I get it. The boss is human and likely far from perfect. I complain about my husband, and I love him, so it is natural to complain about someone we work with, often spend a lot of time with, and sometimes don’t have much in common. It’s tempting to vent; it feels good, and everyone […]
Written by: Home In this section we will explore strategies for dealing constructively with those difficult people with whom you may find yourself laboring at school or work. They are everywhere if you haven’t noticed. On a more serious note, it really is critical to master this life skill early in your career as you […]
Co-authored by Amber Rosenberg, PCC Amber Rosenberg, PCC Founder of Pacific Life Coach Amber Rosenberg is a Professional Life Coach, Career Coach, and Executive Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. As the owner of Pacific Life Coach, she has 20+ years of coaching experience and a background in corporations, tech companies, and nonprofits. […]
Written by: Simone Milasas Leading Facilitator Simone Milasas with https://www.accessconsciousness.com/en Whether you are a business owner, manager or employee, one of the most challenging aspects of the working world can be dealing with people. Let’s face it. People can be difficult. Whether it be personality conflicts, the spreading of gossip, unhealthy competition, co-workers gunning for […]
Posted on the World Economic Forum Site Feb 2017. Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress. Studies […]
I’m sitting on an airplane, and the woman across the aisle seems difficult to me. When the flight attendant asked her to put her backpack under the seat in front of her before takeoff, she looked like she was going to do that, but she didn’t. She picked it up, but as soon as the […]
Written by: Beverly Beuermann-King – info@worksmartlivesmart.com Workplace sabotage – when someone intentionally tries to hurt a colleague’s work or reputation – is a big problem. It can take many forms – disrupting projects, spreading false information, or making mistakes on purpose. When this happens it creates mistrust and stress which makes the workplace toxic. Leaders […]
This article is written by Susmita Sarma, a digital marketer at Vantage Circle. She was involved with media relations before shifting her interest in research and creative writing. Apart from being a classical music buff, she keeps a keen interest in anchoring and cooking. For any related queries, contact editor@vantagecircle.com How does it feel working […]
My brother and I love to debate. Give us a topic, tell me which side to represent, and I’m game. The two of us love to push buttons for one another, but at the end of the day, we engage in a healthy debate. We don’t take it personally, and at the end of the […]
I once shared a “do not share with anyone” bit of knowledge with a colleague I trusted. I trusted that Gail wouldn’t share it with anyone, but just like the old shampoo commercial, “They tell two friends who each tell two friends,” my trust was broken when she continued to share the information. That wasn’t […]
Written by: Beverly Beuermann-King – Work Smart Live Smart Whine Synonyms: complain, bellyache, fuss, gripe, grumble, moan, snivel…. In any workplace, a colleague who complains all the time or only focuses on the negative can suck the energy out of the room and dampen team spirit. Chronic negativity from those who whine or always dwell […]
I once shared a “do not share with anyone” bit of knowledge with a colleague I trusted. I trusted that Gail wouldn’t share it with anyone, but just like the old shampoo commercial, “They tell two friends who each tell two friends,” my trust was broken when she continued to share the information. That wasn’t […]
How to Deal with Difficult People Paths to Opportunities Apr 19 2022 by Alexa Panza Every day you interact with many different people, from family and friends to professors and employers. At some point, you will encounter a difficult person. Such people can make you feel frustrated, angry, and unhappy. But dealing with difficult people […]
Dealing with difficult people is a challenge, but you can overcome it by following a few simple steps. I know this because I’m that person who is sometimes difficult to deal with and I can fix difficult situations too. I don’t intend to be difficult; that is never the goal. Neither does your difficult person […]
It is inevitable that you will have to deal with difficult people at some point in your career. Sometimes it might be a supervisor while other times it may be your fellow associates. You may also encounter difficult customers that you have to interact with on a regular basis. There’s no simple reason why some […]
Unfortunately, Warren and I are having issues with our neighbors in our dream home on the river. We moved here four years ago and were quickly aware they were challenging and loved to complain about everyone. I was determined to win her over, and we wouldn’t have any issues. I’m not winning the battle, and […]
Written by Beverly Beuermann-King info@worksmartlivesmart.com Stress and Difficult Employees Understanding why some employees become more difficult or negative, and when they are more likely to act that way can prevent that build up of stress from happening. So why are people difficult? The answers may lie in different areas, some related to the environment and […]
Written by Beverly Beuermann-King info@worksmartlivesmart.com The Victimizer In Action Have you ever found yourself dreading your next team meeting full of conflict, or bracing for the inevitable moment when ‘that colleague’ seizes the opportunity to undermine your hard work? Navigating workplace dynamics can be difficult at the best of times, but even more so when […]
Written by Beverly Beuermann-King info@worksmartlivesmart.com Gaslighting In Action As leaders and HR professionals, it is your duty to create a positive and productive work environment. One significant but often overlooked threat to workplace harmony is gaslighting. This psychological manipulation tactic can erode trust, undermine confidence, and damage mental health. Understanding gaslighting and how to address […]
Words Hurt “You can’t do anything right”. “This is your fault – It’s always your fault”. Understanding Emotional Abuse and Stress Emotional Abuse is the tearing down of another human being and it can be the result of inappropriately handling one’s emotions, the excessive need to control others and the situations around them, or it […]
Having A Tough Day? It’s the end of the day and you’re exhausted, frustrated and wondering how to handle a difficult boss. Understanding why some people become more difficult or negative, and when they are more likely to act that way, can prevent you from obsessing about your difficult boss to the exclusion of all […]
Do Difficult People Ruin Your Day? It’s the end of the day and you’re exhausted, frustrated and wondering if this is what your work has come to. You hear yourself describing how some difficult people ruin your day. If anyone else talked like that, would you wonder why that person continued to work where they […]
When confronted in a meeting, it can be challenging to maintain a productive and professional demeanour or to effectively communicate in a way that moves the conversation forward. To navigate such situations effectively, consider these five tips: 1. Stay Calm and Composed: o Take a deep breath and maintain your composure. Responding with calmness helps […]
People today have a short fuse—everyone is stressed. And when people are stressed, they can become difficult to be around. Chances are, you’ve worked with at least one difficult person in your organization. You recognize the behaviors of a difficult person, such as a bad attitude, apathy, difficulty handling change, and terrible customer service. Difficult […]
Warren has a habit of overreacting to situations. He goes from zero to 60 in two seconds. Instead of ignoring this sudden outburst and giving him a few seconds to realize he overreacted to the situation, I am often guilty of telling him to “calm down.” For the record, that is NEVER the right thing […]
I’m sitting on an airplane, my first in 18 months, and we are an hour past departure time, and we are back at the gate with a maintenance issue. I was excited to get on an airplane again. I usually fly a few days a week, and flying is part of my identity really. I […]
Ever been on the receiving end of an angry tirade that turned threatening? That’s exactly what happened to me Saturday on the golf course. I was on a mini vacation with my mom, and we were golfing on a beautiful Saturday with my Uncle Ron […]
Written By: THE NATIONAL SOCIETY OF LEADERSHIP AND SUCCESS https://www.nsls.org/blog/leading-difficult-people Being a successful leader is about knowing how to manage, inspire, and encourage a vast majority of people with varying personalities. Leaders usually work with people who are easily managed, but there are other times when they’re faced with the challenge of how to lead […]
Have you ever had a relationship with someone, and it immediately didn’t feel right? It felt like there was some tension in the relationship, and you weren’t sure why? Unintentionally, we often create conflict. We rarely see that we are at fault and are often unsure why there is tension in the relationship. Sometimes things […]
Written by Mark Roberts. https://www.linkedin.com/redir/redirect?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Enosmokeandmirrors%2Ecom&urlhash=vvcM&trk=about_website Beyond the Comfort Zone: Building Bridges Through Difficult Conversations We’ve all been there – faced with the daunting task of engaging in a conversation that feels like treading on thin ice. Both in our personal and professional settings, difficult conversations are inevitable. Yet, as challenging as they may seem, they […]
Whether they are personal or professional, no one likes having difficult conversations. They make you anxious and uncomfortable, and they make the other person anxious and uncomfortable. But they need to be done. If we avoid them, we create a much bigger situation that is harder to fix. Here are five quick tips to ensure […]
I have a (former) friend with whom I refuse to go to dinner anymore. She returns the food to the kitchen 100 percent of the time. She doesn’t like her hairdresser, complains about how she is treated in hotels, and is a nightmare to work with. She is constantly complaining about the service she gets […]
You’ve got a colleague who deliberately leaves you off the email discussion, doesn’t invite you to meetings, openly seems hostile to you, and you are pretty sure they are talking smack behind your back to others. You know they not only don’t like you, but it feels like they are trying to get you fired! […]
Imagine this. Monica was upset that she wasn’t included in the initial admin training workshop you arranged. It was limited attendance, and you chose the 25 admins that you felt would be best suited for the workshop, and she wasn’t one of them. She interpreted that she wasn’t invited to the workshop as a personal […]
Written by: Katia Beeden About As a trauma-informed life coach, I help victims of narcissistic abuse to love and value themselves so they never allow toxic relationships into their lives again. Do you dread going to work? Are you feeling so stressed out that when you’re away from your job, it’s all you can talk […]
By Allaya Cooks-Campbell No matter what you do, you won’t always please your boss. Miscommunication, mistakes, and bad days are simply a part of the workplace experience. But if your manager constantly seems upset without voicing their concerns, you might be dealing with a passive-aggressive boss. It can be hard to know for sure since they […]
Written by: Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and […]
Written By Beverly Beuermann-King Building Resiliency Through Stress and Mental Health Strategies. For over 20 years, Beverly has used her S-O-S Principle™ with teams who want to control their reactions to stress, build resiliency against life’s challenges and live full and flourishing lives. Beverly works with teams and leaders to shift from stressed out to […]
Almost no one enjoys conflict. But it’s something we all need to deal with from time to time, in order to maintain healthy relationships. Further, we need to deal with conflict the right way so that we minimize it, and don’t exacerbate it. I’m amazed at how often people do the wrong thing regarding conflict; doing the […]
In our three-part series on when to avoid, postpone, or confront, we are left with when we should have the confrontation! We know that sometimes avoiding the confrontation is the right choice, and sometimes postponing the conversation is the smartest thing to do, but when do we choose the third option and have the conversation […]
By Janis Roszler When disagreements arise between yourself and a fellow coworker (as they inevitably will), knowing the most effective communication and conflict resolution skills to use in the workplace to diffuse tension will help you stay professional in the heat of the moment and strengthen your working relationship, too. Dealing with difficult people and differences of opinion […]
Jonathan Hancock Difficult People Everywhere “There are many types of annoying people,” says teamwork consultant Ilene Marcus in our latest Expert Voices episode. And she’s right, isn’t she? If we’re honest, we all know a large cast of characters who, in their own ways, rub us up completely the wrong way. Whether they mean to […]
Confrontation is hard. When to avoid it altogether, when to postpone it to a different place and time, and when to have it at the moment is a touchy decision in conflict resolution, where timing is everything. Knowing when to address a conflict, avoid it, and postpone a confrontation can significantly impact the outcome and […]
Tempers flared, curious onlookers were quiet, and eyes flashed daggers at me as she walked past. I asked, “What?” and her heated response was, “You want to get into this now?” and I said, “Yes!” Unfortunately, she didn’t and said as much as she stormed out of the room. Was I right to want the […]
By LaKeisha Fleming When someone’s behavior makes it difficult for you to do your job, carry out your everyday duties, or maintain a healthy relationship with them, they can be defined as “difficult.” Ranging from the words they say to their inability to work effectively with others, difficult people can drain you mentally, physically, and […]
Modern workplaces don’t always bring out the best in people. Corinne Mills explains how to deal with awkward colleagues Workplace dilemmas: dealing with a difficult colleague Dealing with difficult and confrontational behaviour at work Agrumpy boss, whiny colleague or a petulant customer: all recognisable characters from the everyday drama of work. Modern workplaces can […]
by Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, cohost of the Women at Work podcast, and the author of two books: Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) and the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict. She writes and speaks about workplace dynamics. Watch her TEDx talk on conflict and follow her on LinkedIn. One of my favorite questions […]
Co-authored by Meredith Walters, MBA and Glenn Carreau Having good working relationships with your coworkers is important since you spend so much time there. Unfortunately, some coworkers can be rude, unprofessional, or just plain toxic. It’s easy to get stressed and struggle with productivity when you’re juggling a bad work relationship, but thankfully, there are ways to improve […]
by Amy Gallo In every workplace, there are people — many of whom have earned respect and positions of power — who behave in ways that are thoughtless, ambiguous, irrational, and even sometimes downright malicious. It can be challenging to know exactly how to work with people who act like this. Odds are, no […]
Written By: Jamie Birt Jamie Birt is a career coach with 6+ years of experience helping job seekers navigate the job search through one-to-one coaching, webinars and events. Currently based in Austin, she started her career working for Big Brothers and Big Sisters Chicago, creating match relationships and supporting 100+ children for over 3 years. […]
By Allaya Cooks-Campbell When it comes to dealing with difficult people, it can be tough to just “grin and bear it.” A really unpleasant person or interaction can linger in your mind, even when you’re not around them. Suppressing those interactions can start to take its toll on your mental health. Many times, like at work, […]
https://www.upwork.com/resources/authors/upwork-staff The first step in dealing with a difficult colleague is to remind yourself that everybody has a life outside of work. Sometimes, for some people, their home life creates stress they can’t leave at the door—and with everything going on in the world, many are struggling. Approaching people with empathy, even though you find […]
https://www.nsls.org/blog/tag/leadership-development Being a successful leader is about knowing how to manage, inspire, and encourage a vast majority of people with varying personalities. Leaders usually work with people who are easily managed, but there are other times when they’re faced with the challenge of how to lead difficult people. Like any challenge, leading difficult people […]
By: Stephanie Olsen Difficult people in the workplace don’t just make your life miserable, they hurt the company too, causing low morale, absenteeism, and turnover. And because no one wants to work with difficult coworkers, projects fail and productivity falters, negatively impacting the bottom line. Worse, difficult colleagues can cause physical harm in some situations. Pharmacy […]
By: Adam Brady Chopra.com Life is a web of relationships. Human beings are social creatures, deeply entangled in countless relationships throughout life. It’s natural to gravitate toward those relationships that bring you the most happiness, growth, and fulfillment. However, despite your best efforts and intentions to the contrary, you’re sometimes forced to deal with challenging […]
Dealing with difficult people is a challenge, but you can overcome it by following a few simple steps. I know this because I’m that person who is sometimes difficult to deal with and I can fix difficult situations too. I don’t intend to be difficult; that is never the goal. Neither does your difficult person […]
Madison Brown-Moffitt – Public Health Education Intern Palo Alto Medical Foundation You’ve heard the sayings, “there are two sides to every problem” and “it takes two to tango.” Designed to make us look at our own behavior, these adages presuppose that the person with whom you’re tangoing wants to resolve a conflict. What do […]
TERRI COLE IS A NEW YORK CITY-BASED, LICENSED PSYCHOTHERAPIST, RELATIONSHIP EXPERT, AND FOUNDER OF THE REAL LOVE REVOLUTION® & BOUNDARY BOOTCAMP® Contact Terri at support@terricole.com Do you have people in your life who are so difficult and demanding that speaking your mind feels like it’s not even worth the hassle? If you’re nodding your head, […]
Home It is inevitable that you will have to deal with difficult people at some point in your career. Sometimes it might be a supervisor while other times it may be your fellow associates. You may also encounter difficult customers that you have to interact with on a regular basis. There’s no simple reason why […]
By Vanessa Van Edwards Read more at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/difficult-people/ Here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life: 1. Identify the 4 Types There are 4 different types of difficult people. Think about the person in your life and figure out which category they are in: Downers are also known […]
https://www.asaporg.com/ Published Oct 5, 2021 In a perfect world, we would all get along. There would be no inequalities, no name-calling, no disrespect, no hurt. The Golden Rule would be second nature to us and empathy, compassion, and kindness would reign. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and inevitably we often have the displeasure of […]
Written by Celestine Chua. Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You’re not alone. Over the years, I’ve encountered my fair share of difficult people. People who don’t turn their work in as promised, people […]
Method1 Approaching a Difficult Person Download Article Choose your battles wisely. When butting heads with a difficult person, decide when it is worth your efforts to discuss the problem. Not every fight needs to be fought. The sooner you realize this, the happier your life will become. Ideally, you and this difficult person would be able […]
https://www.betsyallenmanning.com/ No matter what we do or where we work, there will always be difficult people to deal with. How you are with handling them and resolving conflict on the outside will define your character inside. When I train leaders on how to manage difficult people , I always start by reminding them that the most difficult […]
From Dealing With Difficult People by Dennis Higashiguchi https://affordablequalitycounseling.com/ In the workplace, as in the rest of our lives, there are people that are difficult to communicate with in order to solve problems, resolve conflicts or negotiate solutions. Some difficulties arise purely because of changing business factors, such as mergers, downsizing or changing economic conditions. Other human […]
BY LIZZ SCHUMER The coworker who always has to one-up everyone else. That friend who’s consistently 30 or more minutes late to every happy hour. Those relatives who never have anything positive to say about anyone (including each other). We all have difficult personalities to deal with, but how you handle them can make or break those relationships. We asked […]
By Shonna Waters, PhD Vice President of Alliance Solutions Everyone has a story about a difficult coworker. There’s always someone who never shows up on time, who borrows your favorite pen and never gives it back, or is regularly rude to you. In small doses, this behavior is tolerable. Everyone makes mistakes or has a bad […]
By Allaya Cooks-Campbell When it comes to dealing with difficult people, it can be tough to just “grin and bear it.” A really unpleasant person or interaction can linger in your mind, even when you’re not around them. Suppressing those interactions can start to take its toll on your mental health. Many times, like at work, […]
By Shonna Waters, PhD June 3, 2022 – 12 MIN READ Everyone has a story about a difficult coworker. There’s always someone who never shows up on time, who borrows your favorite pen and never gives it back, or is regularly rude to you. In small doses, this behavior is tolerable. Everyone makes mistakes or has a […]
Written by Katy Hebebrand No matter where you work or how much you love your job, you’ve probably encountered at least one person who is difficult to work with. How can you maintain a healthy working relationship with a person you struggle to get along with? Why Is Your Coworker Difficult? What defines a difficult coworker? There are […]
Written by: Think Confidence hello@think-confidence.com Dealing with difficult people at work is inevitable. We would love to avoid it but we just can’t. Why? Simply because it’s very rare for someone to get on with everyone they know. The consequences can often be far-reaching. They leave us feeling stressed or overwhelmed not only during […]
October 2, 2021 https://www.asaporg.com/ In a perfect world, we would all get along. There would be no inequalities, no name-calling, no disrespect, no hurt. The Golden Rule would be second nature to us and empathy, compassion, and kindness would reign. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and inevitably we often have the displeasure of […]
Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, cohost of the Women at Work podcast, and the author of two books: Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) and the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict. She writes and speaks about workplace dynamics. Watch her TEDx talk on conflict and follow her on Twitter. Summary. When you’re at your wit’s end […]
Posted by Shubh on May 11, 2022 Have you ever dealt with someone you termed as difficult at your workplace? I bet you have. The term difficult people at work typically refers to people who are challenging to work with or difficult to manage. These people can be a real pain in the neck (for lack of a […]
Imagine this. Monica was upset that she wasn’t included in the initial admin training workshop you arranged. It was limited attendance, and you chose the 25 admins that you felt would be best suited for the workshop, and she wasn’t one of them. She interpreted that she wasn’t invited to the workshop as a personal […]
by Chrissy Scivicque | May 28, 2019 | General Career Advice Let’s face it: Everyone has had an intimidating boss. After all, there’s a clear hierarchy in the relationship—bosses are inherently “superior” to employees. They have authority over you. They can, in essence, make or break your career future. So, it’s only natural if you feel somewhat on edge in […]
Source: This tip is adapted from “Disagreement Doesn’t Have to Be Divisive,” by Francesca Gino Many of us try to avoid conversations with those who have a sharply different point of view, or we try to convince them that they’re wrong. Neither approach is very productive. It’s possible to have healthy disagreements by employing […]
Posted by ASAP https://www.asaporg.com/ October 21, 2021 In a perfect world, we would all get along. There would be no inequalities, no name-calling, no disrespect, no hurt. The Golden Rule would be second nature to us and empathy, compassion, and kindness would reign. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world and inevitably we often have the […]
By Allaya Cooks-Campbell When it comes to dealing with difficult people, it can be tough to just “grin and bear it.” A really unpleasant person or interaction can linger in your mind, even when you’re not around them. Suppressing those interactions can start to take its toll on your mental health. Many times, like at […]
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/our-team#vanessa-van-edwards We all have difficult people in our life who drives us nuts! They are annoying, frustrating, and exhausting—but I have some ways to help you deal with them. https://youtu.be/QCNbq-WwEUI Here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life: 1. Identify the 4 Types There are 4 different types […]
By Jack McGuinness Jack McGuinness is co-founder and managing partner of Relationship Impact, a consulting firm focused on helping great leaders build great leadership teams. May 31, 2022 In today’s competitive market, it would be better to figure out a way to keep those people that do add value to the team. Here’s how. As unfortunate […]
Posted by Mary Bradbury Jones on March 25, 2016 Unfortunately, living and working with difficult people is unavoidable. While they’re a little easier to manage in our personal lives, at work, it can become a struggle to balance professionalism and quality work with putting up with distractions and setbacks. Today’s post discusses nine best practices for working […]
About Kim Harrison – author, editor and content curator Kim Harrison, Founder and Principal of Cutting Edge PR, loves sharing actionable ideas and information about professional communication and business management. He has wide experience as a corporate affairs manager, consultant, author, lecturer, and CEO of a non-profit organization. Kim is a Fellow and former national […]
This article is written by Susmita Sarma, a digital marketer at Vantage Circle. She was involved with media relations before shifting her interest in research and creative writing. Apart from being a classical music buff, she keeps a keen interest in anchoring and cooking. For any related queries, contact editor@vantagecircle.com How does it feel working alongside […]
Dave Asprey Dave Asprey is the founder of Bulletproof, and creator of the widely-popular Bulletproof Coffee. He is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, host of the Webby award-winning podcast The Human Upgrade, and has been featured on the Today show, Fox News, Nightline, Dr. Oz, and many more. Difficult people are a […]
Here’s what to keep in mind. By Adam Bulger Jan 18 2022 Family members who never look on the bright side of life. Neighbors who would like you to know that the sound of your kids’ playing in the backyard interrupted their nap. Coworkers who can’t help but micromanage everything. There’s no shortage of difficult people […]
By Indeed Editorial Team June 24, 2021 Most people have, at one point in their career, met a challenging coworker. These relationships might complicate workplace relationships. However, knowing how to overcome challenges presented by your colleagues can help you gain peace of mind at work and ensure you are at your best for maximum […]
BY SCOTT MAUTZ, KEYNOTE SPEAKER AND AUTHOR, ‘FIND THE FIRE’ AND ‘MAKE IT MATTER’@SCOTT_MAUTZ The only certainties in life may be death, taxes, and the presence of difficult people. Whether it’s co-workers or anyone you find hard to deal with, we all go through it. Regarding the former, a study among 5,000 office workers titled “The Global Human Capital […]
FEATURED MASTERCLASS INSTRUCTOR CHRIS VOSS Former FBI lead hostage negotiator Chris Voss teaches you communication skills and strategies to help you get more of what you want every day. Learning a few simple conflict resolution tactics can help you deal with difficult coworkers and managers alike, making it easier to build positive relationships and […]
When I recently asked a group of attendees at a workshop if a coworker has ever backstabbed them, the overwhelming (almost 100 percent) was, Yes! Backstabbing: betrayal (as by verbal attack against one not present) especially by a false friend….Merriam Webster I’ll bet you would have raised your hand would if you were in the […]
Written by Travis Bradberry, President, TalentSmart The views expressed in this article are those of the author alone and not the World Economic Forum. Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other […]
Mat Apodaca On a mission to share about how communication in the workplace and personal relationships plays a large role in your happiness Read full profile Doesn’t it seem like we deal with difficult people in almost all phases of our lives? I’ve often had to deal with difficult people at work throughout my career. Sometimes […]
We all have difficult people in our life who drives us nuts! They are annoying, frustrating, and exhausting—but I have some ways to help you deal with them. https://youtu.be/QCNbq-WwEUI Here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life: 1. Identify the 4 Types There are 4 different types of […]
October 5, 2017 Chris Westfall What is it that makes certain people so difficult? In the Harvard Business Review, Tony Schwartz points to realistic optimism as a way to deal with these folks. But does telling yourself a well-crafted story really help when someone is being a jerk? Here are four ways to deal with the people […]
About the Author Debbie Zmorenski Deborah K. Zmorenski, MBA, is the co-owner and senior partner of Leader’s Strategic Advantage Inc., an Orlando, Fla.-based consulting firm. During her 34-year career with the Walt Disney W… Read More One of the first people to study difficult employees in the workplace and to assign specific characteristic descriptors to […]
By Julie Perrine / July 25, 2018 Self-awareness is all about being open to improving yourself says Julie Perrine No workplace is completely without conflict. Even the closest of colleagues and co-workers will occasionally disagree over the division of labor, the proper setting on the office thermostat, and whose turn it is to make the afternoon coffee […]
Bruna Martinuzzi Presentation Skills Training, Author, Columnist Business Trends & Insights, Clarion Enterprises Ltd. SUMMARY Take your leadership skills to the next level by getting comfortable with confrontation. Here are 12 ways to diffuse difficult people. We all have an inner voice that tells us when we need to have a difficult conversation with someone—a […]
by DIANE BERENBAUM Are you having a hard time dealing with your co-workers? In this article Diane Berenbaum shares some practical tips on how we can make our workplace a little more harmonious. A recent comment from one of my friends caught me off guard, but got me thinking. She said, with a rather accusatory tone, […]
Written by Karla Cook @krla_cook The intimidators. The slackers. The credit-takers. The “I actually have another favor to ask”-ers. We’ve all encountered a difficult colleague in some form or another. In fact, experts estimate that between 6o and 80 percent of reported difficulties at work are caused primarily by strained relationships with coworkers. Research shows that getting along with […]
Posted by: https://www.universalclass.com/ Many of us spend countless hours at work, and for the majority of full-time workers, more time may be spent at work than in any other context outside of one’s home. Indeed, for many of us, we find ourselves spending more time with our coworkers and colleagues than with our family […]
Published by: http://freshbooks.com When a small business has an employee who is difficult to work with, it can drain productivity and create a hostile work environment. Business owners and managers need to demonstrate leadership and deal with difficult employees directly, discussing the behavioral and performance issues and creating a clear plan moving forward to […]
Resolving Conflict Hi There, How do you resolve a conflict or a disagreement between two of your team members? Today, people have shorter fuses due to the underlying worry and anxiety that comes along with the COVID-19 situation. If people on your team are losing it too easily, it is probably because of that underlying […]
Article written by: Travis Bradberry President, TalentSmart Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress. Studies have long […]
Author: Thomas Glare Thomas is a passionate writer, psychologist, and amateur gambler. He distracts himself with mr.bet during breaks and does a great job at his job in HR. Thomas currently lives in Seattle ABOUT US Dumb Little Man is a popular online magazine on self-improvement and life hacks. Started back in 2006, Dumb Little Man has […]
Ignoring Difficult People Is Not an Option If You Want to Succeed ••• Table of Contents Why You Must Deal Worst Case Scenario Dealing With Difficult People Deal With Coworker Need Help? Talk With Your Manager BY SUSAN M. HEATHFIELD Updated January 18, 2021 Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety […]
by Paulette Sun Davis Paulette Sun Davis writer, executive coach, speaker, gardener. paulette@one-now.com Why do we have to argue? Can’t we all get along? In my younger days, I’d rather be kind than confront an issue that might end in an argument. I slowly discovered that it wasn’t kindness that was guiding my actions. It […]
We all have difficult people in our life who drives us nuts! They are annoying, frustrating, and exhausting—but I have some ways to help you deal with them. Here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life: 1. Identify the 4 Types There are 4 different types of difficult […]
By Harish Saras https://www.harishsaras.com/ Let’s be honest… Are you getting crazy at work due to other person’s behavior or attitude? Have you ever worked with someone who doesn’t seem to get along with you? Is it challenging to deal with difficult people at work? We’ve all encountered difficult people at work, regardless of the industry. They […]
https://www.mindtools.com/content What constitutes bad behavior in the workplace? Let’s look at an example. Ian’s an engineer in the aerospace industry. He’s exceptionally knowledgeable, and puts in long hours working on his projects. But his manner with his colleagues is curt, to say the least. For several years this hasn’t overly upset other members of his […]
Experts share the best techniques and tactics to end the emotional tug-of-war, once and for all. BY LIZZ SCHUMER May 11, 2020 Lizz Schumer is the senior editor for Good Housekeeping, and also contributes to Woman’s Day, and Prevention, covering pets, culture, lifestyle, books, and entertainment. The coworker who always has to one-up everyone else. That […]
Dealing with difficult behaviour can be challenging for both the recipient and the person displaying the behaviour. When at work, we may come across challenging behaviour from a number of sources – our colleagues, our manager, our customers or suppliers. Consequently, how you manage the difficult behaviour, may be slightly different dependent upon the context […]
Published Wed, Feb 7 20189:24 AM ESTUpdated Tue, Oct 16 201812:11 PM EDT Deepak Chopra and Kabir Sehgal, Contributors Every now and then, you’ll be confronted with a difficult person. Maybe it’s your manager who pressures you to make a work deadline. Or it’s your spouse who challenges you at every turn. Maybe it’s even […]
By Arti Patel Global News Posted February 8, 2018 5:58 pm It doesn’t matter if it’s a co-worker or family member, people with difficult personalities are hard to communicate with. And while all difficult people have different personas, a lot of it comes down to how much you can handle yourself, says Jahmeelah Gamble, founder of […]
You Can Learn to Deal With Difficult People: Use These 10 Tips BY SUSAN M. HEATHFIELD Updated February 28, 2021 In every workplace, you will have difficult coworkers. Dealing with difficult coworkers, bosses, customers, clients, and friends is a skill worth perfecting. Dealing with difficult situations at work is challenging, yet rewarding. You can […]
PUBLISHED JULY 30, 2020 · UPDATED FEBRUARY 26, 2021 Techtello.com Humans are social creatures who seek personal validation based on how others interact with them. We feel good and important when others share our belief system and dejected when there’s a conflict of opinions. It’s then natural to want to work with people who are just like us, […]
Indeed Career Guide Posted on www.indeed.com/career-advice July 23, 2020 Almost everyone has to work with a challenging coworker at some point in their career. Getting along with this person is an important part of developing your conflict resolution skills and learning to overcome adversity. As you learn how to work around their quirks or […]
13 Sep Dealing with difficult customers during COVID Posted at 14:39h in News by Vickie Burkinshaw During these challenging times people may be behaving differently or more erratically. Panic, uncertainty and frustration can impact on the way a person interacts with another. Which means it is likely we will be dealing with difficult customers. We can manage our customer interactions […]
Co-authored by Amber Rosenberg, PCC Last Updated: August 3, 2020 Difficult people are everywhere. Perhaps you too can be difficult. Many people go through periods where they don’t act their best. If you want to maintain a relationship with a difficult person, you will need to develop some coping and negotiation strategies. Method1 Approaching a Difficult […]
Editor’s note: Although some of these ideas may seem obvious, you are bound to find a helpful tip. In order to maintain a high level of productivity, a positive work environment is absolutely essential. Although many aspects of the workplace are completely under your control, there will be occasions when you are essentially helpless, and […]
Adam Brady Life is a web of relationships. Human beings are social creatures, deeply entangled in countless relationships throughout life. It’s natural to gravitate toward those relationships that bring you the most happiness, growth, and fulfillment. However, despite your best efforts and intentions to the contrary, you’re sometimes forced to deal with challenging relationships and […]
Written by: Chi Whitley Junior Content Marketing Specialist at Siege Media who graduated from Rhodes College in 2016 with a B.A. in English with a specialization in writing. When Chi isn’t writing blogs or creating content, you can find him outside hiking or playing disc golf with friends in Austin, TX. Working full-time or […]
Written by: Mat Apodaca On a mission to share about how communication in the workplace and personal relationships plays a large role in your happiness Read full profile Doesn’t it seem like we deal with difficult people in almost all phases of our lives? I’ve often had to deal with difficult people at work throughout my […]
Authored byPaul Petrone Focused on connecting all professionals to economic opportunity November 4, 2019 We all spend a lot of time each week with our colleagues, and, well, some of them aren’t so easy to work with. What’s the secret to dealing with them? In his LinkedIn Learning course appropriately named Dealing with Difficult People, Instructor Chris […]
It’s the end of the day and you’re exhausted, frustrated and wondering how to handle your difficult boss. Understanding why some people become more difficult or negative, and when they are more likely to act that way, can prevent you from obsessing about your difficult boss to the exclusion of all the others who were […]
Posted by Rosalind Lang. Published: December 18, 2019 engageinlearning.com Managing challenging behaviour in the workplace involves patience and great communication skills. Challenging behaviour in the workplace can occur for many reasons. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and unique ways of communicating and working with others. Organisations can set standards for acceptable behaviour and will have policies and procedures in place […]
Ignoring Difficult People Is Not an Option If You Want to Succeed BY SUSAN M. HEATHFIELD Updated September 02, 2019 Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional […]
Posted on the SHRM.org site. Under the Toolkit section. Scope—This toolkit looks at some of the most common disruptive employee behaviors, identifies the potential risks to the organization if the behavior is not corrected and offers strategies for constructively managing the performance of difficult employees. The article also discusses the roles of HR and the […]
The University of Queensland Australia – Article https://staff.uq.edu.au/files/188/challenging-work-relationships.pdf Here are a few questions to ask yourself (in no particular order) the next time you feel you are experiencing a difficult workplace relationship: Does it matter? Is this issue really worth your time and energy? If it isn’t then don’t get bogged down, just move on […]
Warren and I had just walked out of the store and were about to get into our car when two men jumped out of their cars and started yelling obscenities at each other. Everyone seemed to freeze and watch the scene unfold. It was tense, the situation quickly escalated, and each man seemed to […]
HR professionals share their stories about handling problem people at work. By Dori Meinert You went into HR because you love people, right? But admit it—sometimes those people can be real pains. In every group, there seems to be at least one person who saps morale, slows productivity and stirs up anger in other team […]
Travis Bradberry Co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and President at TalentSmart Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all […]
Written by: https://www.harishsaras.com/author/harish/ Let’s be honest… Are you getting crazy at work due to other person’s behavior or attitude? Have you ever worked with someone who doesn’t seem to get along with you? Is it challenging to deal with difficult people at work? We’ve all encountered difficult people at work, regardless of the industry. They may […]
BY SUSAN M. HEATHFIELD Updated September 02, 2019 Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional courage at work. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person […]
https://www.forbes.com/sites/chriscancialosi/ Article by: Chris Cancialosi We’ve all been there. Be it work, school or Thanksgiving dinner, we’ve all found ourselves in situations where we have been forced to interact with people we find to be “difficult”. For many of us, we’d rather eat glass than have to deal with challenging people like this but how […]
ABOUT VANESSA VAN EDWARDS Vanessa Van Edwards is a national best selling author & founder at Science of People. Her groundbreaking book, Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People has been translated into more than 16 languages. As a recovering awkward person, Vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma. She regularly leads innovative corporate workshops and helps thousands of individual […]
By Bonnie Low-Kramen | August 18, 2020 Enough is enough, isn’t it? Today’s virtual workplace demands are pressured enough without additional angst caused by managers and staffers acting out their stress in the form of yelling, public humiliation, sexual harassment over Zoom, and nastygram emails. This is about respect. And it is about disrespect. Workplace […]
Written by Mat Apodacan January 6, 2020 https://www.lifehack.org/author/mat-apodaca Doesn’t it seem like we deal with difficult people in almost all phases of our lives? I’ve often had to deal with difficult people at work throughout my career. Sometimes it’s been my supervisor, other times it’s been my fellow associates and even other times, […]
MARCH 22, 2017 BY JACKIE HARDER How do you deal with negative emotions? If your plan is to ignore them until they go away, it’s a bad idea. Because they won’t. All they do is sit in your subconscious and rot until either they explode on whoever happens to be around – another bad idea – or […]
Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You’re not alone. Over the years, I’ve encountered my fair share of difficult people. People who don’t turn their work in as promised, people who don’t show up […]
Barbara Markway Ph.D. Believe it or not, you can stay calm, defuse conflict, and keep your dignity. We’ve all been there—trying valiantly to reason with an incredibly difficult person. The situation proves frustrating, maddening, and sometimes even frightening. The truth is, you can’t reason with an unreasonable person. However, there are proven techniques to better […]
BY SUSAN M. HEATHFIELD Full Bio Follow Linkedin Follow Twitter Susan Heathfield is an HR and management consultant with an MS degree. She has covered HR for The Balance Careers since 2000. In every workplace, you will have difficult coworkers. Dealing with difficult coworkers, bosses, customers, clients, and friends is a skill worth perfecting. Dealing with difficult […]
Article and Video by: Greg Schinkel, CSP President Front Line Leadership Systems Develop the skills your team needs to drive results and maximize engagement. Call us at 1-866-700-9043, email info@frontlineleadership.com or click here to contact us today. How do you deal with the abrasive personalities that you interact with every day as a leader? One of our most […]
As posted in the Business Insider: June 22, 2011. Written by Celestine Chua. Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You’re not alone. Over the years, I’ve encountered my fair share of difficult people. People […]
Published Thu, Dec 8 20161:00 PM ESTUpdated Thu, Dec 8 20161:38 PM EST CNBC.com Marguerite Ward@FORWARDIST https://www.cnbc.com/video/2016/12/08/how-to-deal-with-difficult-coworkers-without-losing-your-mind.html Everyone wants to work in a friendly and productive environment, but sometimes even one bad co-worker can make getting your job done seem near impossible. Psychologist Amy Cooper Hakim, an expert on employer-employee relationships, says this is a […]
In dealing with the work of conflict resolution, we are not always in control of the various people sitting in the room. In spite of personalities that may span the spectrum, it is still our duty and work to engage all parties in dialogue. This dialogue is only effective if everyone feels safe and comfortable […]
It is hard to put difficult colleagues into a one-size-fits-all box. After all, they come in so many shapes and sizes. No workplace is without them. What about the passive-aggressive who feeds on bullying others? How about the know-it-all corporate climber who walks all over people in her 5-inch stilettos? Or the two-faced backstabber who […]
The strategies for dealing with difficult people you encounter at work will differ according to these profiles, writes Joe Topinka. Everyone interested in career development knows that we can all benefit from more leadership training. Typically these courses cover topics like performance evaluations, budgeting, and strategic planning. But one area that gets almost no […]
Lets get right down to it. You want to handle those difficult personalities like a boss? Well, as you read further, you’ll notice a theme. It’s more about you than that difficult person driving you nuts. I say this because when we’re dealing with a difficult person, the only thing we have control over is our own reactions […]
In the Queen’s IRC Strategies for Workplace Conflicts course, we start by asking participants what they would particularly like help with in their workplace. A common response is “difficult / high conflict people”. However you define it, this is a huge challenge in today’s workplace and, unless it is handled well, it takes significant time, energy and […]
That person on the team who you can’t stand? Nip this in the bud and set the stage for a more positive working relationship. There’s that one person on your team who just grinds your gears. You avoid them at team events. You stifle eye rolls every time they speak up in meetings. You dread […]
This is an ideal time to learn breakthrough communication skills. Even in the best of times, dealing with relationship conflict and frustrating communications can feel overwhelming. And we are certainly not in the best of times. With most couples and families now confined under the same roof, discord and tensions can surface far more easily. […]
Do you wake up every work day feeling as if you’re gearing up to go to battle? If you find yourself suiting up in what feels like a protective layer of armor or struggling to stake out your territory, you’re likely entrenched in a workplace relationship with a difficult personality. More importantly, you’re expending energy […]
Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional courage at work. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behavior affects […]
We all spend a lot of time each week with our colleagues, and, well, some of them aren’t so easy to work with. What’s the secret to dealing with them? In his LinkedIn Learning course appropriately named Dealing with Difficult People, Instructor Chris Croft gives an in-depth overview of how to best work with difficult colleagues. We picked […]
Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to avoid working with at least some difficult (if not some extremely difficult) people. You might find them in senior leadership, among your peers or even among your clients. They can have an impact on your motivation, stress, absenteeism and morale. In extreme cases, they might even have a financial impact […]
Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress. Related: 10 Habits of Unlikeable People Studies have long shown […]
Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn’t listen? Takes credit for work you’ve done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes? Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling, a challenge to our […]
A few months ago, a former client — let’s call her Kacie— called me to check in. I had supported her through her transition when she had joined a prestigious global financial services firm several months prior. Given how deliberately and thoughtfully she’d gone through the process, I expected that our conversation would be about […]
Running into people that are tough to get along with is inevitable, both professionally and personally. There are four ways to make dealing with them easier, says Petris Lapis. They’re hiding everywhere. Often cunningly disguised as reasonable people until they join your family, your workplace, your circle of friends, your sporting team or become a […]
Not everyone is lucky enough to work with a superstar CEO. When a direct report is being difficult, there are a number of strategies you can employ, says Michelle Gibbings. From Gordon Gecko in Wall Street to Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada, a bad boss story makes for a good movie. However, when […]
New findings suggest being bullied at work won’t just affect you emotionally, but could also have serious consequences for your health. In 2015, not long after Soma Ghosh, now 36, started a new job as a careers advisor, she began to dread every day at the office. A colleague consistently criticised her performance, blamed her […]
Some of the hardest employees to manage are people who are consistently oppositional. They might actively debate or ignore feedback, refuse to follow instructions they disagree with or create a constant stream of negative comments about new initiatives. Most often, these behaviors are meant to make the employee look strong and mask a fear of […]
In an article titled “Becoming Adept at Dealing with Difficult People and Avoiding Conflict,” Elizabeth Scott states people should “work to maintain a sense of humor.” She references shows such as “Modern Family” and suggests they can be used to help see the humor in dealing with difficult people. Whether in our personal or work […]
Firms have begun to recognize that leaders who avoid confrontation tend to put off difficult decisions and allow problems to fester, says Glaser. In their book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Penguin Putnam, 2000), Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen offer advice on how to address conflicts in our personal and professional lives. They note that managers often fear […]
Too often, when it comes to difficult conversations, we shy away from speaking our mind because we don’t have the tools to be skilful in sharing an opinion that is likely to be unpopular. As a result, we say nothing or tiptoe around the issue, leaving the other person clueless about what’s really going on […]
We’ve all encountered ‘difficult’ people in the workplace. Whether it’s a boss, a colleague or a subordinate, it’s challenging working in close quarters with someone whose personality or approach to work doesn’t always gel with our own and who pushes our buttons. You know who I’m talking about – the sort of person who rarely listens to […]
There’s nothing more unpleasant in the workplace than dealing with difficult people — be it a bad boss, colleagues who just make life miserable or a new hire who turns out to be the wrong fit. But, how you assess and approach these issues can be the key to getting past them successfully. This week, […]
Chances are, you’ve experienced a co-worker who can’t resist the urge to tell you how to do your job. Micromanagement is bad enough when it comes from a manager, but it’s even worse coming from a peer. A bossy co-worker can make life in the workplace frustrating and even difficult. Ask us how we can […]
A loud co-worker can derail your productivity and make the working environment unpleasant, but telling a noisy colleague to pipe down isn’t a pleasant task. Even though they’re being rude, it’s natural to want to avoid confrontation. Luckily, there are ways to get your co-worker to be a little quieter without ruffling any feathers in […]
It is hard to put difficult colleagues into a one-size-fits-all box. After all, they come in so many shapes and sizes. No workplace is without them. What about the passive-aggressive who feeds on bullying others? How about the know-it-all corporate climber who walks all over people in her 5-inch stilettos? Or the two-faced backstabber who […]
No matter where you work, there always seems to be at least one coworker who is difficult to deal with. Sometimes, that coworker even turns into a bully, and that can affect your job performance and self-esteem when all you want to do it get along and get the job done. If you let it […]
Working with someone who is known for being “difficult” doesn’t have to be, well, difficult. By focusing on the other person in a positive way, you can make constructive strides in your working relationship—and your overall office happiness. Ask us how we can help you and your company to know exactly what you can and […]
Bosses and colleagues: they can mean the difference between loving your work and dreading getting up in the morning. When it’s good, you feel supported, valued, part of a team, and heard; when it’s bad you feel resentful, lonely, stressed and depressed. When it’s good you’re prepared to stay in your job for the long […]
Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You’re not alone. Try out these tips for the difficult people you face at your workplace and see how they work out for you 🙂 or ask us […]
Take a moment and think about the defining experiences that challenged you most when working with peers. How would you characterize the way you and your colleagues (past or present) have worked together? Along the way you’ve probably encountered rude or abrasive behavior that has diminished your confidence, lowered your willingness to actively engage with […]
We’ve all likely encountered conflicts in the workplace that affect our morale, limit our productivity, and may even lead us to seek employment elsewhere. There’s no way to avoid tension altogether, of course. But if you are capable of carefully navigating and resolving such discord, you’ll find you can improve dynamics for yourself and your […]
It’s difficult to calculate the exact cost of difficult behaviours in the workplace, but they can have a significant impact. Even one toxic person in a team can greatly reduce productivity and effectiveness of the rest of the team due to the time spent trying to deal with, or work around, the difficult individual. Ask […]
Let’s be honest, bad bosses exist and as an Assistant, you are primed to come up against some of the toughest people in business. Navigating difficult relationships can build resilience and tenacity however dealing with a persistently sour apple is about as demotivating as finding a great parking space, but then realising that you won’t […]
Difficult people all have one thing in common. You must address them. No matter the type of difficult situation in which you find yourself, dealing with difficult people or situations is a must. Sure, you can experience a momentary distraction or ill-advised remark from a colleague without doing anything about it. Everyone has bad days […]
In an article titled “Becoming Adept at Dealing with Difficult People and Avoiding Conflict,” Elizabeth Scott states people should “work to maintain a sense of humor.” She references shows such as “Modern Family” and suggests they can be used to help see the humor in dealing with difficult people. Whether in our personal or work […]
We all would like to run away from “trouble makers”, but you can master the art of coping with them. The key is understanding the fears that fuel their behaviour, and learning the role of peace-maker. Be sure to consider some of these Do’s and Don’ts. Ask us how we can help you and your […]
Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You’re not alone. Over the years, I’ve encountered my fair share of difficult people. People who don’t turn their work in as promised, people who don’t show up […]
How should someone act around a boss that is a narcissist? originally appeared on Quora: the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world. Answer by Karen Arluck, Clinical Psychotherapist in private practice, on Quora: It can be very difficult to work for a boss who […]
We all have that one co-worker that seems to get under our skin. Can you recognize some of the others that are likely in your office too? Ask us how we can help you and your company to know exactly what you can and should do to retain control, no matter what or who you’re […]
There was time when I felt somewhat proud of myself for having good relationships with people around me. I was truly happy for those doing well and not feeling jealousy or envy. For those who were not doing well or making mistakes, I was able to feel their pain and wished them happiness. I thought […]
We’ve all been there. Be it work, school or Thanksgiving dinner, we’ve all found ourselves in situations where we have been forced to interact with people we find to be “difficult”. For many of us, we’d rather eat glass than have to deal with challenging people like this but how we survive and, dare I […]
Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to avoid working with at least some difficult (if not some extremelydifficult) people. You might find them in senior leadership, among your peers or even among your clients. They can have an impact on your motivation, stress, absenteeism and morale. In extreme cases, they might even have a financial impact if your […]
One of my favorite communication strategies is one that I use when others try to make me defensive. No one can make you feel defensive without your consent. We are in control of how we react. No one is in control of that. You may be thinking, “Joyce, how can I be in control when others push me?” It isn’t […]
Everyone has their own definition of what’s messy and what’s not. Some people are able to tolerate more clutter and mess, whereas others like to have everything neat and tidy at all times. This isn’t too much of a problem when these cleaning habits are limited to the privacy of one’s home. However, it can […]
By Dr. Rhonda Savage People today have a short fuse—everyone is stressed. And when people are stressed, they can become difficult to be around. Chances are, you’ve worked with at least one difficult person in your organization. You recognize the behaviors of a difficult person, such as a bad attitude, apathy, difficulty handling change, and […]
Modern workplaces don’t always bring out the best in people. Corinne Mills explains how to deal with awkward colleagues Workplace dilemmas: dealing with a difficult colleague Dealing with difficult and confrontational behaviour at work Looking for a job? Explore the range of vacancies on Guardian Jobs and find the perfect role for you A grumpy boss, whiny colleague […]
Have you ever stayed at work to get a rush job done only to be told that a last-minute extension was granted? Have you had a co-worker or supervisor take credit for work you did? How about having someone dump all the work on your lap because “they don’t have time?” Getting angry at work […]
For sure nobody wants to work with toxic bosses such as those who take all credit but blame others when facing failure, but you better learn how to deal with them even when you’re able to get rid of one now because there are always such people out there. Identify the toxic boss According to Robert […]
No matter what industry you work in, sooner or later you are bound to deal with at least one very difficult person at work. Sometimes the difficult person is a customer, sometimes a coworker, and in some cases the difficult person is even a manager. While the exact method for dealing with the person may […]
Like most of us, you may also have had to meet someone difficult to deal with or a negative person. Yes! Dealing with difficult people is a challenge. These people have negative feelings, oppose your ideas or simply do not like you. However, you cannot avoid them all. You can avoid one or two people, […]
Like most of us, you may also have had to meet someone difficult to deal with or a negative person. Yes! Dealing with difficult people is a challenge. These people have negative feelings, oppose your ideas or simply do not like you. However, you cannot avoid them all. You can avoid one or two people, […]
Everyone wants to work in a friendly and productive environment, but sometimes even one bad co-worker can make getting your job done seem near impossible. Psychologist Amy Cooper Hakim, an expert on employer-employee relationships, says this is a problem many people face. “The biggest issues stem from improper communication, poor tactics,” Hakim tells CNBC. “We […]
Last November, Philippe, a 33-year-old French banker, left Paris for a new challenge in London. He thought that a new job in a fast-growing British investment bank would give him valuable international experience and develop some new skills. The bigger salary and bonus were also a draw. One year on, Philippe has a different view […]
Scary Work Scenario: And I Have to Spend All Day with These People? Whether they’re pushy, lazy, boss hating, self-promoting, or haven’t done any actual work since 1973, dysfunctional colleagues can make everyone look bad. Here’s how to win at work with a losing team. Her name was Margaret. She had an answer for everything, […]
Last November, Philippe, a 33-year-old French banker, left Paris for a new challenge in London. He thought that a new job in a fast-growing British investment bank would give him valuable international experience and develop some new skills. The bigger salary and bonus were also a draw. One year on, Philippe has a different view […]
Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn’t listen? Takes credit for work you’ve done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes? Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling, a challenge to our […]
Troublesome people can offer your best chance to shine After 15 years in retail management, Lynnette Vyles was done. She was scared because she didn’t have another job lined up, but the constant stream of rude customers had become too much to bear. “I had never just turned in my keys and left a job,” Vyles said. […]
Any business will have employees who don’t get along from time to time. Whether it’s because of differences in their personalities, lifestyles, opinions or some other factor, sometimes employees just don’t mesh. And when there’s discord in the workplace, it affects everybody. The resulting tension not only makes the office environment uncomfortable – it can […]
Colleagues, coworkers, bosses and so many others can rub you the wrong way and spark feelings like anger or anxiety that can get in the way of doing your job. In the business world, they’re called “difficult” but we often call them by other names. You’ll run across difficult people (also known as people you […]
Ever encountered someone who frustrates you so much that you feel like you want to pull your hair, jump around the room and just scream out loud? You’re not alone. Over the years, I’ve encountered my fair share of difficult people. People who don’t turn their work in as promised, people who don’t show up […]
Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity and strife. To deal with difficult people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across […]
We’ve all run into at least one of these four types of troublesome co-workers. Teambuilding expert Kaley Klemp explains how to handle them. Gossiping, backstabbing, bullying and complaining co-workers will ensnare even the best employees into their unhappy world of drama and deceit. In so doing, problem employees transform otherwise efficient, benign corporate environments into tawdry scenes […]
We all have difficult people in our life who drives us nuts! And they are exhausting, frustrating and annoying—but I have some ways to help you deal with difficult people. Here are some ideas for how you can handle the difficult person in your life: 1. Identify the 4 Types There are 4 different types […]
by Hadassah Silberstein MyLife Essay Contest The sound of her unnecessarily aggressive chewing drives you crazy. You cringe every time he opens his mouth. You cannot remain in one room with her for too long before you get irritated. More often than not, your conversations with him turn into arguments. When you aren’t with her, you […]
People want leadership roles for a variety of reasons, but the opportunity to manage conflicts is rarely at the top of anyone’s list. It’s a skill that many have a hard time mastering — and let’s face it, avoiding conflict tends to be the first inclination for most of us. Workplace conflicts can emerge in any number […]
Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations […]
Seven Ways to Ditch the Drama Think you’re too spiritual to have someone challenging in your life? Not even that one difficult person? Perhaps someone in your office, a friend, professional colleague or, most likely, a family member? Most of us have at least one testing person that keeps us on our toes, or […]
Whether it’s your co-worker, your neighbor or your child, sometimes people can be overwhelmingly difficult. If you have had to deal with someone who puts up tons of resistance, you know that things can quickly escalate out of control. As a coach who specializes in turning around conflict situations, there are commonalities that that are […]
Words Hurt “You can’t do anything right”. “This is your fault – It’s always your fault”. Understanding Emotional Abuse and Stress Emotional Abuse is the tearing down of another human being and it can be the result of inappropriately handling one’s emotions, the excessive need to control others and the situations around them, or it […]
By Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP ~ 4 min read In an article titled “Becoming Adept at Dealing with Difficult People and Avoiding Conflict,” Elizabeth Scott states people should “work to maintain a sense of humor.” She references shows such as “Modern Family” and suggests they can be used to help see the humor in dealing […]
Life is a web of relationships. Human beings are social creatures, deeply entangled in countless relationships throughout life. It’s natural to gravitate toward those relationships that bring you the most happiness, growth, and fulfillment. However, despite your best efforts and intentions to the contrary, you’re sometimes forced to deal with challenging relationships and difficult […]
By ‘difficult’ people we mean people with certain personality traits or emotional characteristics that make it difficult for you to communicate with them. The ability to effectively cope with such people while maintaining a healthy work environment is known as the skill of dealing with difficult people. It is inevitable for you to come across […]
Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace? […]
Colleagues, coworkers, bosses and so many others can rub you the wrong way and spark feelings like anger or anxiety that can get in the way of doing your job. In the business world, they’re called “difficult” but we often call them by other names. You’ll run across difficult people (also known as people you […]
Believe it or not, you can stay calm, defuse conflict, and keep your dignity. We’ve all been there—trying valiantly to reason with an incredibly difficult person. The situation proves frustrating, maddening, and sometimes even frightening. The truth is, you can’t reason with an unreasonable person. However, there are proven techniques to better manage such dicey […]
Seven Ways to Ditch the Drama Think you’re too spiritual to have someone challenging in your life? Not even that one difficult person? Perhaps someone in your office, a friend, professional colleague or, most likely, a family member? Most of us have at least one testing person that keeps us on our toes, or perhaps […]
Almost no one enjoys conflict. But it’s something we all need to deal with from time to time, in order to maintain healthy relationships. Further, we need to deal with conflict the right way so that we minimize it, and don’t exacerbate it. I’m amazed at how often people do the wrong thing regarding conflict; […]
Communication Skills – Dealing with Difficult People When dealing with difficult people, stay out of it emotionally and concentrate on listening non-defensively and actively. People may make disparaging and emotional remarks – don’t rise to the bait! 1. Don’t get Hooked !!! When people behave towards you in a manner that makes you feel angry, […]
Dealing With Difficult People Is a Must for Your Career Success Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional courage at work. Dealing with difficult people is easier when […]
It’s inevitable. At some point in your week, you’ll run into one of them. Those people who seem to turn a wonderful day into a dark one. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you. There are studies that demonstrate that people’s energy is contagious. If you’re happy and an angry person […]
Deepak Chopra and Kabir Sehgal, Contributors NBC|Getty Images| Renee Faia as Alice, Jason Alexander as George Costanza on NBC’s “Seinfeld” Every now and then, you’ll be confronted with a difficult person. Maybe it’s your manager who pressures you to make a work deadline. Or it’s your spouse who challenges you at every turn. Maybe it’s even […]
Don’t relish conflict, but don’t fear it. Handling conflict is one of the most misunderstood parts of our existence. It is often unpleasant; many people try to avoid it. Others seem to thrive on the stress of it. I think some even use it to overpower others. Maybe that’s why they look for opportunities to […]
Is someone at work making your life difficult? If so, you’re not alone. Every workplace seems to have its difficult co-workers, bosses or customers. And they come in all varieties. When trying to cope, it can help to understand the human dynamics of a situation. The inescapable fact is that any time two people are […]
A conflict arises when individuals have different opinions, thought processes, attitudes, interests, needs and find it difficult to adjust with each other. When individuals perceive things in dissimilar ways and cannot find the middle way, a conflict starts. No organization can survive if the employees are constantly engaged in fights and conflicts. The individuals have to […]
Dealing With Difficult People Is a Must for Your Career Success Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional courage at work. Dealing with difficult people is easier when […]
For the film Steve Jobs: The Lost Interview, the Apple founder shared his views about how teams develop something great: Polishing ideas can be like polishing rocks, he said. It’s a lesson he learned in childhood while hanging out with a neighborhood kid. He recalled putting some “regular old ugly rocks” in a tumbler with some grit […]
It was lunchtime and the seven of us — two kids and five adults — would be in the car for the next three hours as we drove from New York City to upstate Connecticut for the weekend. We decided to get some takeout at a place on the corner of 88th and Broadway. I […]
In an article titled “Becoming Adept at Dealing with Difficult People and Avoiding Conflict,” Elizabeth Scott states people should “work to maintain a sense of humor.” She references shows such as “Modern Family” and suggests they can be used to help see the humor in dealing with difficult people. Whether in our personal or work […]
By Adam Brady Life is a web of relationships. Human beings are social creatures, deeply entangled in countless relationships throughout life. It’s natural to gravitate toward those relationships that bring you the most happiness, growth, and fulfillment. However, despite your best efforts and intentions to the contrary, you’re sometimes forced to deal with challenging relationships and […]
By: Dr. Rhonda Savage People today have a short fuse—everyone is stressed. And when people are stressed, they can become difficult to be around. Chances are, you’ve worked with at least one difficult person in your organization. You recognize the behaviors of a difficult person, such as a bad attitude, apathy, difficulty handling change, and terrible customer […]
When I was in seventh grade, a new girl joined my class. Let’s call her Selena. She came from a big city, and she knew it all — what to wear, the words to songs, how to talk to teachers. She’d even spoken French in Paris. Some classmates were admiring, while others were annoyed. But I felt I needed to […]
We’ve all run into at least one of these four types of troublesome co-workers. Teambuilding expert Kaley Klemp explains how to handle them. Gossiping, backstabbing, bullying and complaining co-workers will ensnare even the best employees into their unhappy world of drama and deceit. In so doing, problem employees transform otherwise efficient, benign corporate environments into tawdry scenes […]
Good leaders are great at resolving conflict. Great leaders keep conflict from arising in the first place. Here’s how they do it. In engineering “friction” can be defined as any waste of energy that has been harnessed to produce work. Entrepreneurs grow wealthy by reducing the economic friction between buyers and sellers. In business there is a […]
She thinks you’re having a conversation, but you don’t get to speak a word. Something doesn’t go according to plan and you’re the one he blames. Whether it’s a family member, a co-worker or (worse) your boss, highly aggressive and challenging people can turn a perfectly good day into a dramatic experience without any reason. […]
Recognizing what drives them is the first step. When you were 5, it was all about getting the cookie. Did you ask respectfully and get the cookie? Or did you yell and scream? Did you avoid making waves to get it? Or did you go behind your parents’ backs to get that cookie? Kids figure out […]
Effectively managing conflict is arguably the hardest thing a manager has to do. I was recently reminded of this by a comment from a reader in response to a post (10 Things Successful Business People Aren’t Daunted By). Her observation? “I’ll be printing this off and putting it where I can read it every morning,” […]
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negativity they spread, while others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos. Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. […]
It’s the end of the day and you’re exhausted, frustrated and wondering if this is what your life has come to. You hear yourself describing your day as if it were someone else using those words. If someone talked to you like that, you’d wonder why that person continued to work where they do. Why […]
People want leadership roles for a variety of reasons, but the opportunity to manage conflicts is rarely at the top of anyone’s list. It’s a skill that many have a hard time mastering — and let’s face it, avoiding conflict tends to be the first inclination for most of us. Workplace conflicts can emerge in any number […]
It’s the end of the day and you’re exhausted, frustrated and wondering why you put up with your difficult boss. Understanding why some people become more difficult or negative, and when they are more likely to act that way, can prevent you from obsessing about your difficult boss to the exclusion of all the others who […]
Blame it on personality, lifestyle or other factors, but sometimes employees just don’t mesh. And friction in the ranks can make your office feel like a war zone. The tension can make the workplace uncomfortable for other employees and have a dramatic effect on productivity. But, conflict between two employees isn’t always a bad thing. […]
There are a few employees at my store who are great workers, but who really create tension among other staff members. How should I address this situation? Understanding why some employees become more difficult or negative, and when they are more likely to act that way can prevent that build up of tension from happening. […]
Shutterstock Kenneth Kaye once said, “Conflict is neither good nor bad. Properly managed, it is absolutely vital.” Highly effective leaders identify, understand and develop swift and smart resolutions to workplace conflicts, most of which demand some level of confrontation. Yet I’ve found many coaching clients dread confrontation, shifting the focus toward diversionary topics or simply turning […]
James C. Collins wrote the best seller: “Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Other’s Don’t.” It has stood the test of time and sold over 4 million copies according to Wikipedia. Jim has some very good advice that is contained in his seven characteristics of companies that went from good to great. For […]
Ever been on the receiving end of an angry tirade that turned threatening? That’s exactly what happened to me Saturday on the golf course. I was on a mini vacation with my mom, and we were golfing on a beautiful Saturday with my uncle Ron […]
Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn’t listen? Takes credit for work you’ve done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes? Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling, a challenge to our […]
Three Tips for Dealing with a Person with Aggressive Behavior Learning how to deal with aggressive behavior in your team members, your peers or even your manager will contribute to a healthier organization. Our company has expertise in providing coaching for abrasive and aggressive managers. In our Front Line Leadership program, we do an activity […]
We all experience conflict; whether we choose to master it or let it master us determines our destiny. Due to the popularity of my blog “10 Tips for Effective Conflict Resolution,” I decided to make a YouTube video and also provide you with 10 MORE tips to work through conflict: 1) Don’t react. While this is […]
When conflict arises in the workplace—as it inevitably does—many smaller organizations and family enterprises are not prepared to handle it. It takes some careful crafting of policies, as well as genuine self-reflection, to get the team back on track. These tips will get you started. 1. Understand and evaluate people’s emotional responses When employees have […]
Why You Must Deal With Difficult People Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional courage. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just […]
Last November, Philippe, a 33-year-old French banker, left Paris for a new challenge in London. He thought that a new job in a fast-growing British investment bank would give him valuable international experience and develop some new skills. The bigger salary and bonus were also a draw. One year on, Philippe has a different view […]
Build Your Conflict Resolution Skills A former colleague holds complete conversations in his head with people with whom he is angry. He rarely speaks directly with the other person. This anger in his mind continues to build because of his frustration, yet he never lets the other person know that he is frustrated and subsequently […]
Most employees and managers have a story about a conflict in the workplace that got out of hand. Sometimes, the events remain in the past, but sometimes they take root and lead to rifts within an office. Cold exchanges are made in the breakroom, two employees avoid eye contact in meetings, and projects slow to […]
Conflict is part of life. Conflict is any situation in which people have incompatible interests, goals, principles or feelings and experience. In other words, conflict means that two people experience discomforting differences. Despite our best efforts, we find ourselves in disagreements with other people in all aspects of our lives: at work, in our relationships, […]
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negativity they spread, while others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos. Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. […]
By: Dr. Rhonda Savage People today have a short fuse—everyone is stressed. And when people are stressed, they can become difficult to be around. Chances are, you’ve worked with at least one difficult person in your organization. You recognize the behaviors of a difficult person, such as a bad attitude, apathy, difficulty handling change, and […]
By David Orman “There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz It seemed like a simple task. Please switch my gym membership from gold to silver level. I’m not cancelling, just switching. That was now the third time I repeated my request, each time […]
Learn to Play Nice I think it’s safe to say that all of us, at one time or another, have had to deal with a difficult person at work. But the good news is, you do not have to let them get the better of you! Below are proven tactics that can help you get […]
Yes, Don Corleone knew a thing or two about leadership. But dealing with other people’s egos is more complicated than Hollywood makes it look. CREDIT: Getty Images Growing up in an Italian-American household meant you had to watch The Godfather Parts I and II every time they came on television. My father, John Gambardella, […]
Difficult people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress. Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, […]
In case you’re wondering how to play well with others, we have a few ideas. 1. I Am Really Ticked Off. Do I Have To Be Forgiving? The last two years I’ve had several difficult personal and professional problems, which left me feeling mad, victimized and obsessed with a few people’s General Awfulness. This is […]
What’s more important: knowledge, work habits or the way we interact with others? Recently, one of my clients was creating a project team. Several people volunteered, yet when they found out that Ms. So and So was going to be part of it, they quickly retracted their offers. The project hadn’t even started, yet they […]
Is it OK to give up on your difficult person? There may come a time in your relationship with your difficult person when you realize it is never going to work out. You are never going to reach a middle ground. You are never going to change their behaviour. Is it OK to give up? […]
Article by, Darylen Cote Whiners, Know-It-Alls, and Steamrollers: Strategies to cope with even the most hard-to-take personalities. We’ve all been there. There are just some people we can’t stand! Perhaps it’s the Whiner whose complaining drives you to distraction. Or it may be the Steamroller who makes you […]
Help Me Rhonda: I’m new to my company, in my first supervisory position. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes and I want to be seen as a friendly boss but I feel like I’m being tested every day by my new staff members. For example, two of them will often be chatting to […]
No matter how great a corporate culture you create, no matter how good a role model you are, it’s inevitable that situations will arise that require you to mitigate emotional stress within the ranks. Personal conflicts, outside pressures, and job-related stress will eventually become a factor to be dealt with in any workplace setting. How […]
She thinks you’re having a conversation, but you don’t get to speak a word. Something doesn’t go according to plan and you’re the one he blames. Whether it’s a family member, a co-worker or (worse) your boss, highly aggressive and challenging people can turn a perfectly good day into a dramatic experience without any reason. […]
Have you ever been so angry you couldn’t speak? Have your buttons been pushed so that your detonation switch was triggered? I can relate. I have been so angry that I have lashed out like a two-year-old. I have avoided people after saying something I deeply regret. I have lived those moments in my head […]
At what point does being helpful become complaining? We have a home in Florida that we use as a vacation rental. We do our best to keep it looking and operating at peak efficiency and comfort. We have great guests, and people seem to enjoy their time while on vacation. Ed and Gretchen were excited […]
In any situation involving more than one person, conflict can arise. The causes of conflict range from philosophical differences and divergent goals to power imbalances. Unmanaged or poorly managed conflicts generate a breakdown in trust and lost productivity. For small businesses, where success often hinges on the cohesion of a few people, loss of trust […]
I’m dealing with an avoider. I find it very frustrating. Every once in a while you will encounter a situation where you want to deal with it in a calm, professional manner, and the person with whom you want to deal with, does not want to deal with it at all! An avoider is someone […]
Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn’t listen? Takes credit for work you’ve done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes? Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling, a challenge to our […]
Have you dealt with conflict amongst your team lately? If not then you should be concerned. You see too often leaders try to stop conflict that exists amongst their employees, but the reality is conflict is a natural outcome when putting a diverse group of employees together. In fact there are numerous benefits to employee […]
The U.S. election has unleashed a style of aggression, anger and hatred created like no other. There have been friendships lost, families torn apart, and relationships that will take a very long time to repair. If they even can repair. Sadly this type of situation happens all the time in the workplace. It could start […]
We all have some people in our lives who can be considered “difficult.” They can make life really unpleasant. That is, if we let them! We can deal with difficult people in a number of ways. The amazing thing is, when we combine these elements, we may actually help them become happier and more easy-going […]
It is easy to work with people you like, and it is even easier to work with people who like you. But that’s not always the case. Sooner or later, you’ll have to deal with a difficult customer. Difficult customers come in a wide variety. There are those whose personality rubs you the wrong way. […]
Most of us encounter unreasonable people in our lives. We may be “stuck” with a difficult individual at work or at home. It’s easy to let a challenging person affect us and ruin our day. What are some of the keys to empowering yourself in such situations? Below are ten keys to handling unreasonable and […]
Chances are you’ve dealt with your fair share of unsavory co-workers, employees, and bosses. And every time, you learn a little bit more about how to deal with the difficult scenarios they throw at you. However, there are some types of problematic people who seem to pop up more than others, and after a while, […]
With winter in Ontario only a few short months away, I’m reminded of receiving my license. It was a blustery Saturday when the Young Drivers instructor was coaching me through skid maneuvering. We were in the parking lot of a local grocery store and trying (that’s right, on purpose) to get the car to skid […]
Someone has been talking smack about you. Someone will talk about you in the future, too, and they won’t always say nice things. If you’re under the misguided belief that no one has ever said anything bad about you behind your back, you’re naïve. Sometimes it’s even the people you consider friends who will stab […]
We’re exactly two months from Election Day, and the closer we get to Nov. 8, the more prevalent election discussions will become in the office. Fortunately, Americans have the ability to openly discuss and debate candidates and the divisive issues they raise. However, not everyone is articulate or open to constructive discourse. As such, political […]
Asked several years ago to describe the most important argument taking place at Walmart, then-CEO Lee Scott immediately replied, “The size of our stores.” The world’s largest retailer was debating just how small its footprints and formats could bewhile still serving customer needs and its own brand equity promise. That conversation, Scott said, provoked a […]
How do you deal with conflict? Are you a person who holds onto everything or do you let your anger out? Conflict affects our attitude, which impacts our ability to be productive. Conflict is destructive if not positively handled. It damages peace and orderliness within us as relationships are broken. Our ability to trust people […]
By: Dr. Rhonda Savage People today have a short fuse—everyone is stressed. And when people are stressed, they can become difficult to be around. Chances are, you’ve worked with at least one difficult person in your organization. You recognize the behaviors of a difficult person, such as a bad attitude, apathy, difficulty handling change, and […]
Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace? No […]
Are you in the majority of people who see conflict as destructive and avoid it at all costs? Or do you see conflict as an essential ingredient to create a healthy organization and reap the rewards of continuous improvement? The root cause of most conflict is ignorance – either I don’t fully understand your perspective […]
The path to success can be derailed by clashes with difficult people, and even if the clash isn’t disastrous, it can make your life very unpleasant. Everyone has a store of coping mechanisms that we resort to when we find ourselves in stressful situations. Difficult people force us to fall back on our coping mechanisms. […]
by Lee Jay Berman Conflict happens. It is inevitable. It is going to happen whenever you have people with different expectations. This makes conflict management critical, whether avoiding arguments, disputes, lasting conflict or ultimately, litigation. Conflict can be avoided if steps are taken early in a discussion to diffuse anger and facilitate communication, and it can […]
Who is the most difficult person you work with? Does it feel to you like they spend each evening plotting and planning on how to ruin the next day for you? Does it drain your energy just thinking about this person? You’re not alone. It seems that every one of us has a ‘difficult to […]
So the Great Barrier Reef has not been listed as endangered by UNESCO. And same-sex marriage is high on the national agenda. Care to argue the case? Careful, there’s a minefield ahead. There is one thing that is poorly understood about arguing in the public arena. It is the reason that a strong case will […]
They’re sarcastic, cynical, and negative, but you don’t want to fire them. Hope and help for managing people who drive you nuts. Ideally, when you’re leading or working with a team, you have a group of people who work in good faith to get the job done well—and get along while doing so. Then, there […]
How do you deal with emotional pain? The kind of pain that sits in your heart and occasionally (sometimes without warning) breaks your heart just a little bit, and you feel an overwhelming urge to cry. Many of us can relate to that. Let’s consider the unfortunate events that took place on Sept. 11, 2001. […]
Do you have someone at work who consistently triggers you? Doesn’t listen? Takes credit for work you’ve done? Wastes your time with trivial issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can only talk about himself? Constantly criticizes?Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling, a challenge to our sense […]
10 strategies to help minimize the negative impacts of office tension Situation: Morgan and Jose are arguing about which steps to take next to implement the Micah Project. Morgan wants to move ahead immediately; Jose wants to rethink the situation and perhaps consult with other members of the department to avoid making a rash decision. […]
To succeed as a manager, you can’t be a conflict-avoider. Effectively managing conflict is arguably the hardest thing a manager has to do. I was recently reminded of this by a comment from a reader in response to a post on Forbes.com (10 Things Successful Business People Aren’t Daunted By). Her observation? “I’ll be printing […]
By: Dr. Rhonda Savage People today have a short fuse – everyone is stressed. And when people are stressed, they can become difficult to be around. Chances are, you’ve worked with at least one difficult person in your organization. You recognize the behaviors of a difficult person, such as a bad attitude, apathy, difficulty handling change, and […]
Like the old Saturday Night Live character, Debbie Downer, some people are only happy when they’re unhappy and bringing down everyone else around them too. Here are eight tips for dealing with difficult people at work. 1. Don’t get dragged down—The old saying is “Misery loves company.” The most important thing is to be aware of […]
Our friend Yvonne quit her new job after six months. “I should have known my ex-boss was a psycho control freak,” she said. “Were there signs of his tendencies during the interview process?” we asked. “There was one sign, a huge one,” said Yvonne. “I can’t believe I missed it. He basically came right out […]
Most executives acknowledge difficulty in dealing with conflict. Conflict comes in many guises. It can be person to person or group to group. It can be an in-house clash with direct reports and attendant personnel. Sometimes conflict occurs with external vendors, contractors, and consultants. It’s not uncommon for conflict to worm its way into otherwise […]
Good leaders are great at resolving conflict. Great leaders keep conflict from arising in the first place. Here’s how they do it. In engineering “friction” can be defined as any waste of energy that has been harnessed to produce work. Entrepreneurs grow wealthy by reducing the economic friction between buyers and sellers. In business there is a […]
It was lunchtime and the seven of us — two kids and five adults — would be in the car for the next three hours as we drove from New York City to upstate Connecticut for the weekend. We decided to get some takeout at a place on the corner of 88th and Broadway. I […]
Last November, Philippe, a 33-year-old French banker, left Paris for a new challenge in London. He thought that a new job in a fast-growing British investment bank would give him valuable international experience and develop some new skills. The bigger salary and bonus were also a draw. One year on, Philippe has a different view […]
Most of us encounter unreasonable people in our lives. We may be “stuck” with a difficult individual at work or at home. It’s easy to let a challenging person affect us and ruin our day. What are some of the keys to empowering yourself in such situations? Below are ten keys to handling unreasonable and […]
It’s something we’re taught from a young age – when you’re about to go into a rage, force yourself to count to ten and hopefully the storm will pass. This may sound like common sense, but without testing the method scientifically, how do we know if and when it really works? For example, while the […]
When I was little, I had a controversial grandmother. She was the woman my grandfather remarried after my father’s mom’s premature death. We pretty much only saw her twice a year: once for a family reunion, and once for a Christmas party. I adored her (except that she always smelled like cigarettes and had a […]
Is it just me or has there been a recent surge in people being particularly difficult lately? And it’s not just around those wild and whacky full-moon days! It seems that every other person I’ve talked to lately has also had a recent encounter of some kind with someone saying and doing things — in […]
by Caitlin Nobes Workplace romance is a common headache for HR, especially when it ends badly. However, what about when feelings are unrequited, sometimes with extreme results? A recent US case shows just how bad it can get. A New York judge has extended a cease and desist order and restraining order against Ling Chan, an […]
Have you found yourself in an awkward position of having to tell someone his or her bad breath or body odor is no longer acceptable? Do others complain to you but they don’t have the nerve to broach the problem directly? Try this approach and you will be pleasantly surprised how easily the issue can be addressed. Here are […]
Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress. Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, […]
A recent Gallup survey reported that 25 per cent of people would like to fire their boss, if they had the power. Interestingly, the majority of those 25 per cent were reported as the “highly disengaged” cohort. On the other hand, those who enjoyed a healthy relationship with their managers were reported as “highly engaged” […]
In the few short weeks since January 1, here are just two of the headlines that have appeared in respected business publications: “Is Your Boss a Psychopath?” and “A Survivor’s Guide to Bullies, Backstabbers and Bastards.” Words like “toxic, destructive, revenge, screaming, crying, and storming” fill the paragraphs. Books on the subject include “Snakes in […]
By Ed Rigsbee, CSP, CAE Website: http://www.rigsbee.com/ In times of conflict you can take one of two positions. First the position is that of having your heels dug in and believing you are RIGHT. The second position is where you care enough to understand what is motivating the other person’s behavior. My recommendation, as you might […]
By Robbie Abed, Independent IT Consultant, Author of Fire Me I Beg You LinkedIn: http://LinkedIn.com/in/robbiejabed It took years to develop, but I was finally able to figure out how to handle difficult situations and how to work with difficult people. I’ve worked with: The […]
By Rhonda Scharf, CSP When you are dealing with your difficult person, you can expect that their behaviour will get worse before it gets better. This is a good sign. This means that they are noticing that something has changed, and are digging in their heels to get what it is that they need. We […]
By Rhonda Scharf, CSP How do you deal with emotional pain? The kind of pain that sits in your heart and occasionally (sometimes without warning) breaks your heart just a little bit and you feel an overwhelming urge to cry. Many of us can relate to that. Let’s consider the unfortunate events that took place […]
By Rhonda Scharf, CSP Recently, my 18 month old computer died. It had a hardware failure that my computer technicians called “irreparable”. I am totally frustrated at not having a computer, at the expense, and most importantly, with the time I am having to spend to get a new system up and running. Do you […]
By Rhonda Scharf, CSP Have you ever had a situation where someone said something and it hit you right in the gut? Hurt right to the core? Made you want to cry? Me, too! I hate that feeling, too. It usually hits me when I’m least expecting it (then again, when do you expect something […]
By Rhonda Scharf, CSP Who is the most difficult person you work with? Does it feel to you like they spend each evening plotting and planning on how to ruin the next day for you? Does it drain your energy just thinking about this person? You’re not alone. It seems that every one of us […]
Principles of Defusing Hostility Follow these principles when dealing with an angry person to succeed! (see BOTH parts) If You Lose Control, You Lose, Period! Manipulative nasty behaviour is designed to affect you emotionally so that you will become aggressive or defensive. When we lose our cool and defend ourselves or become aggressive we actually […]
Principles of Defusing Hostility Follow these principles when dealing with an angry person to succeed! (see BOTH parts) Deal With Person’s Feelings First An angry person needs to have the issue AND their feelings addressed in order to start interacting constructively. The angrier the person, the more important it is to acknowledge their anger through […]
According to the Attitudes in America Workplace VII study, 15 percent of workers said that a coworker had made them so mad they felt like slapping them. If you’re experiencing threats of abuse or retaliation and are unable or unwilling to quit your job, use these tips to defuse the situation. Understand the Angry Coworker […]
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town. – George Carlin In a Peanuts cartoon Lucy demanded that Linus change TV channels, threatening him with her fist if he didn’t. “What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over?” asks Linus. “These five […]
The chronically late, the anger management candidate, the person who questions your every decision — these employees could possess all the skills in the world and still would make life difficult for you. According to Microsoft, U.S. businesses lose about $600 billion each year from unproductive employees. The fact is, if your other employees are […]
While most people dislike and avoid conflict at work, it can also have tangible benefits. I was thinking about this subject lately, as I was being interviewed about “Managing Conflict at Work” for the Matt Townsend radio program – and I was consistently pushing toward the negative in our conversation, as he was consistently pushing […]
Has one of your coworkers posted a malicious comment about you on Twitter or threatened you on chat or in an email? You aren’t alone. Bullying is an epidemic affecting an estimated 54 million American workers, according to a study conducted by Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention. A Zogby International poll found that half of […]
Workplace bullying is like bullying on the playground except that it occurs in the workplace. It usually involves verbal comments and incidents that are intended to hurt, harass, isolate, intimidate, or humiliate a person. It is not new but has become what some have called a silent epidemic because it is happening frequently but isn’t […]
Here’s what our “Dealing With Difficult People” webinar will cover: * 5 strategies for improving communication with difficult people – so you can end your frustration! * How to diffuse people who are angry, upset or just plain rude, and how to calm tense situations. * How these strategies will improve your reputation as a professional and reduce your stress. * What motivates theattitudes and behaviors of […]
When you are dealing with your difficult person, you can expect that they will get worse before they get better. This is a good sign. We are all familiar with the old saying “If you keep on doing what you always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” We know that with our […]
My cousin Danielle works in a bank here in Ottawa. Just last week she was robbed (again)! She tells the story as calmly as you would tell me about your weekend. When I asked how she remained so calm, she looked at me as if I was crazy and said “It wasn’t my money. As […]
In my Dealing with Difficult People workshops, I try to get everyone to realize that they are usually being difficult to someone else. Most people who attend my workshops are looking for skills to learn to deal with their difficult person, their bully, or handle a confrontation.
“A little bullying never hurt anyone. It makes you learn to stand up for yourself, be a man if you will.”
That’s exactly what I heard sitting the restaurant the other day. It was a conversation between three senior gentlemen, in reference to a news story that was playing on the television being broadcast in the restaurant.
Imagine you had a coworker that was the type of person that pretended they were the boss’ friend. Your coworker was super nice to the boss when she was around, but the minute her back was turned, your coworker turned into the most negative, anti-boss supporter you’ve ever met. Constant criticism, blatant disrespect and very unprofessional.
Sentences that start with the word You instantly cause defensiveness. I know that technically tone is more important than words in communication, but the word You is a dangerous word and causes an emotional reaction very quickly.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of an angry tirade that made you feel threatened? That’s exactly what happened to me Saturday on the golf course.
I was on a mini-vacation with my mom, golfing on a beautiful Saturday with my Uncle Ron and my cousin, Debbie. My uncle is an average golfer. Some days he plays very well, and other days he isn’t so lucky.
Saturday was one of the best days he has ever had on the golf course; he was hitting the ball for miles. He had a big grin on his face to show his pleasure with his success, too. It was a great day.
Until the 4th hole.
Do you work with chatty coworkers? Not just the friendly, conversational type, but the type that never stop talking? Ever?
You know that one of the most frustrating aspects of working in an office environment can be dealing with negative coworkers. These coworkers can cause a great deal of frustration without rea lizing they’re doing it. For them, it may just be venting but for you it becomes a constant stream of negativity that can […]
There are many types of difficult people. They come in all shapes and sizes. Difficult people hold many different social and economical status. Difficult people make things…well…difficult.
If any one person seeks to alienate, divide, belittle, or in general make a hostile work environment, or makes you dread going to work, they may qualify as a difficult person. They could be a bully, or it could be just a personality clash. Regardless, there are certain things you must do.
You have enough to worry about at your job, and getting bullied by your coworkers should never be one of them. It is normal to fear retaliation by a workplace bully. Running away and letting them continue to bully you is not the right approach (but you already know that!).
Emotions are not your friend when they rule your interactions with your difficult person. You need to be black and white, focused on the facts, calm, cool and collected. You will have no problem dealing with issues that you are not emotional about (because you don’t care), but as soon as you “care” you will have a problem dealing with the situation.
After the confrontation
‘Pretending’ is a valid way to begin the healing process.
When we think about a confrontation, we think about handling the situation, and we tend not to think any further than that. We assume that once we work up the nerve to confront the other person, everything will return to normal. Unfortunately, that won’t necessarily ever happen, and certainly it won’t happen immediately.
If you are attending a meeting this week, and your difficult person (or bully) is attending, make a point to sit BESIDE her, not across the table from her. When you position yourself across the table you are placing yourself in a potentially adversarial position. By putting yourself beside your difficult person you are in […]
I’ve watched the TLC program I Survived a few times lately. Amazing stories of survival, amazing people in life-threatening situations.
People can survive the most amazing things. As I watch the show, I am amazed at people’s will to survive, their will to overcome, their determination to not let their attacker (whether that be another person, an animal or nature) take them down.
Dealing with a difficult person, having an unexpected confrontation or working every day with a bully is going to take it’s toll on you physically. Your stress levels will soar, and it is important to manage your stress so you can manage your situation. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute: 76% of people being bullied […]
Think the best way to communicate with your difficult person is on email? Don’t!
Bullying has been getting a lot of press lately. In a recent Zogby International study, 54 million Americans say they have been attacked by bullies at work. That is an astounding number. The definition of bullying is activity that is unfair, humiliating, malicious, vindictive and intended to harm the victim. It is persistent, prolonged and […]
Help Me Rhonda! I’m finally ready to have a confrontation with my co-worker. I just can’t take it anymore. Is there a best place to have this meeting? Ready-But-Nervous! Dear Ready-But-Nervous! Congratulations and being willing to have the confrontation/conversation. As you know, most people talk themselves out of the final discussion. There are a few […]
Last week Bill O’Reilly paid a visit to the set of The View. In case you haven’t seen the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25uyFwWPOZg Bill had a heated discussion with the ladies and said several very inflammatory comments. Now lets be clear here, Bill O’Reilly enjoys pushing buttons and was probably well aware that his comments were inappropriate, […]
Hi, I just thought I’d send you a quick note to let you know that I’ve just set up a Facebook Fan Page. And obviously I think you should join. I’m sure you’re asking yourself why should I join a “Fan Page,” when I’m already buried in Farmville requests? Well quite simply, Fan Page is […]
Don’t say it! I was volunteering at water station a marathon recently. The station was held on a residential street, so the street was closed off, all traffic diverted and the residents were asked to have their cars off the street no later than 8am. At 8:15am a man walked out his front door. One […]
When someone pushes your buttons, the best thing you can do is let their verbal attack hang in the air. Say nothing. This doesn’t mean that you’ll ignore it forever. It means that for now, the conversation is over. You’ll continue the conversation later, when you are calmer and so are they. Take a look […]
Dear Rhonda: I’m working with someone I think is a bully. She is mean (like in the movie Mean Girls), she makes fun of me in front of others, and I feel like crying when she comes my way. My co-workers tell me it is just a personality clash, but I think it is worse. […]
Anger and emotional situations are not a good combination. When your emotions are high, your ability to think straight, your ability to follow a plan of action is in danger. Recently I was in a personal situation where emotions were high. A difficult person in my life was sitting at the table, and she was […]
Learn to keep your mouth shut in some confrontations. You can win this way – and they can lose!
Many times we respond (or react) far too quickly when it comes to our Difficult Person. The tension is high, it has become personal, and even though we often know better, we are quick to respond to a situation. The next time you are dealing with difficult people, remind yourself to breathe! Before you say […]
Many times we are more focused on the “Confrontation” than we are the solution. Do you mistake a confrontation for a vent session? Do you go into your confrontation (or conversation) with a solution in mind, or are you just trying to vent with your difficult person? Lets assume the issue is your coworker who […]
Words are permanent. Words are dangerous. Words hurt. Words can leave scars. Be very careful what you say when dealing with your difficult person.
Doesn’t it drive you around the bend when someone tells you to calm down? That is about the worst thing you could possibly say to a person who has lost their cool. So don’t say it. Ever. I can appreciate that sometimes people get out of hand. I can appreciate that in order for us […]
Is it OK to give up on your difficult person? There may come a time in your relationship with your difficult person when you realize it is never going to work out. You are never going to reach a middle ground. You are never going to change their behaviour. Is it OK to give up? […]
Do you know where your buttons are? You need to know what makes you jump. You need to know what makes you react unprofessionally, and then you need to know how to keep your cool when one of those buttons are pushed. I tested myself this weekend with my teenaged daughter. For those of you […]
It seems that hardly a day goes by without some type of news about all that is going on with The Tonight Show on NBC. It amazes me that these are professionals who should know better, but they continue to make some very simple mistakes that come with a lot of consequence. They both need […]
Learn how to deal with an avoider.
Emotions Lets face it, at this time of the year; emotions are closer to the surface. It is easier to get upset, angry and much easier to lash out when we are operating from the heart and not the head. Regardless, take your emotions out of the equation. Write down your issue on paper so […]
I am not a negative person by nature and find that negativity seems to knock the wind out of my sails. There are several approaches to dealing with negativity, and while none of them are easy, they are simple to do without compromising your credibility at work. I’ll share my favourite approach today. Try to […]
I’m dealing with an avoider. I find it very frustrating. An avoider is someone who hates confrontation. She would rather a situation sit and fester, than have to sit down and handle the issue with you directly. In fairness, many of us probably prefer to avoid rather than have a confrontation. I mean, who really […]
It is important to never give in to your desire to lash out, fight back, or hurt your difficult person. Tempting, but don’t do it. I would rather regret something I didn’t say than regret something I did say. This week, be sure that you are the consummate professional. Be the one to take that […]
The guy who cuts our grass is someone I would easily call a difficult person. He is strongly opinionated. He is right and anyone who even considers a different opinion is not only wrong, they are stupid. That type of person is infuriating. I sometimes feel it is my responsibility to get them to at […]
There is always another perspective, always another way to look at things, always two sides to every story. Force yourself to try to see the opposite point of view, even if it sounds ridiculous to you. Whenever Warren, my husband, and I are driving and he starts to complain about the other drivers, I make […]
It’s OK to say to your difficult person “This isn’t a good time for me to finish this discussion” instead of getting into a confrontation that you aren’t prepared for. When you are being railroaded into a confrontation to discuss and issue “here and now” you do not have to agree to their terms. You […]
Is your person just difficult, or are they operating in fear mode? We are in a fear-based economy and health crises right now, and people are flat out afraid of the unknown. What if H1N1 hits my family? What if my investments are worth nothing when I retire? What if Iose my job? What if […]
Serena Williams lost it at the US Open last weekend. Her temper got the best of her and she reacted emotionally, inappropriately and unprofessionally. What gets lost in the story is the calmness with which the line judge held herself. Had the line judge yelled and threatened back to Williams, then we would have all […]
If I asked you the question, “I would be more effective work with “X” if…. (fill in the blank)”, how would you finish that question? I would be more effective working with Rhonda if she worked somewhere else? I would be more effective working with Mike if he had a better attitude, listened to what […]
Congressman Barney Frank (Mass) became a bit of a celebrity this week by answering what many would consider an inappropriate question with an attack back: “Mam, what planet do you spend most of your time on?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYlZiWK2Iy8 While it made for an entertaining news clip, it was not the correct way to handle this lady. […]
Yesterday, I received an email from Sue that made me chuckle. She realized that she was the difficult person at work. I laughed and advised Sue not to worry, as we are all someone’s difficult person. Whoever you have labeled your difficult person has likely labeled you as their difficult person. Why? Because at the […]
Do you take the actions of your difficult person personally? Do you think that they sit at home at night and plot how to ruin your next day? Do you feel that they have it in for you (and are trying to get you fired, look bad or worse)? Of course you do. One of […]
I admit it; condescension is one of my triggers. I know that as soon as I “hear” condescension in someone else’s voice, I trigger a response. That response is typically negative, potentially confrontational, and often unprofessional. Our difficult people know where our triggers are, and you can be sure that they enjoy pushing them just […]
Don’t bring others into your confrontations/conversations. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t the only one who feels this way, or that others agree with you. Confrontation (and conversations about difficult situations) are between you and your difficult person only. If you say “Julie feels the same way” then you have guaranteed to derail the conversation […]
Forgive; sounds good Forget; I don’t think I could They say time heals everything, I’m still waiting. Those are the lyrics to one of my favourite songs by the Dixie Chicks, and they directly apply to dealing with difficult people. If you have someone who truly is a diffiult person, and if you have one […]
According to Your Workplace magazine (June 2009) in a study of 5,00 full-time employees in Europe and the Americas found that only 12% of them had received formal training in conflict management. The three work sectors where frequent conflict is most common is government (42.7%), eduation (41.8%) and not-for-profit (41.3%) What are you doing to […]
We typically label anyone that is difficult as a difficult person. The actual definition of a difficult person is: Those people who continually and chronically get in your way of you doing your job and living your life effectively (Websters) Statistically that is only about two percent of the population. I realize that some days […]
Learn to deal with a sniper attack in a public setting.
Stop fooling yourself in thinking that you just need to do or say just one little thing and then BAM! everything will be better. It won’t. It takes a strategy and a planned course of action to deal with your difficult person. It isn’t just one thing, it is a series of things that you […]
Our final style of conflict management is “Compromise.” If you missed last week’s summary for “Obliging” be sure to to take a look at that post. The final style has an equal balance for “Concern for Self” with “Concern for Others.” As you can tell by it’s name, it is about compromise. Keep in mind that BOTH […]
We continue our discussion of conflict management styles with the fourth of five different options. Last week we discussed “Avoiding” and when and how we should be taking that style as our choice. This week we discuss “Obliging” which sounds exactly the way it is. This style is about giving in to others. It places […]
Last week we visited the second of five styles of conflict management – Dominating. This week, we move to a style that is practiced by many, and sadly, not usually very effectively: “Avoiding.” The “don’t rock the boat” style of conflict management relies on others to handle the situation as the person (you) tend to just withdraw […]
Last week we visited the first of the five styles of conflict management (Collaborating). This week, we change the parameters for our end goal and discuss “Dominating.” For many of us we naturally default to the dominating style of conflict management when frustrated. I push and you push back. Unfortunately, it is rarely the correct response. When […]
There are five styles of conflict management. Each has its own purpose and reason for choosing it. This week we are going to focus on the “Collaborating” style of conflict management. This style is high on the “concern for self” scale and also high on the “concern for others” scale. Collaborating is a win/win style […]
Are you willing to compromise? When you are dealing with your difficult person, your back is probably against the wall and you are angry and frustrated. Are you flexible at all, or have you dug in your heels and become just as difficult (if not more so) than the person you are dealing with? Is […]
Take your time. Strategize. Don’t rush into dealing with your difficult person. You are probably really great at figuring out what to do at 2:00am (I certainly am!), so take the time to figure out what the “right” answer is rather than the quick answer. You won’t regret it!
Are you sure you have the energy to “fix” your difficult person? Most people decide to deal with their difficult person the same way they decide to get in shape – and go way overboard! Have you ever decided today was the day you were going to get in shape and went out and ran […]
When dealing with your difficult person, or in the middle of a confrontation, always give the other person your 100% focus… even if you are on the telephone or the other cannot see you. Avoid looking at your watch or notes, avoid responding to email or smiling/waving at anyone else walking by. Often the reason […]
Keep you voice volume low. You don’t want to appear as if you are angry or shouting when having a confrontation or dealing with difficult person, so keep it low…. and a little too low is perfectly acceptable. When your voice is quite low, people actually listen more closely. Use this to your advantage and […]
For the past several weeks we’ve been discussing the different stages of conflict and what to do in each stage. The second (and most critical stage) is “More Significant Challenges.” As we know from previous tips, there are important steps to follow at each stage. For this stage, it is important that you do have […]
As mentioned in our last tip, http://www.DealingWithDifficultPeople.org, there are three stages of conflict in any difficult relationship. The first stage is called “Everyday Concerns and Disputes” (or Stage 1). This stages covers those day-to-day irritations that we all experience. For the most part, we ignore them. However, they could contine to build and create tension and […]
There are three stages of conflict in any difficult relationship. The final stage is known as “The Fight is On!” (or Stage 3). If you, or your difficult person, perceives your conflict to be in the final stage, it is important to realize that a calm, cool and logical discussion will not work. The other […]
Make 2009 your year for action. Stop complaining about your difficult person or you difficult situation and do something about it! The problem that many of us face is the “fear” of what will happen/not happen. I can assure you that if you don’t do anything, nothing will change (it might even begin to get […]
Begin with the end in mind. If you are going to have a conversation or confrontation with your difficult person about what the problem is, you had better enter this discussion with a solution in mind. You will get nowhere if you just vent your frustrations. You MUST have a solution in mind to the […]
If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got. So this week, do something completely different! Try “the look” without making any comment. Perhaps completely ignoring the comment or the situation is what is in order. Or, for those of you that do typically avoid any confrontation […]
According to the dictionary, difficult people are those people who continually and chronically get in your way of you doing your job and living your life effectively. Statistically, this is only 2% of the population. Are you really dealing with a difficult person, or is it just conflict? Conflict is tension in a relationship. It […]
Emotions are not your friend when they rule your interactions with your difficult person. You need to be black and white, focused on the facts, calm, cool and collected. It is in your best interest to NOT respond nor react when you are being ruled by your emotions. Take time out. Be sure to arrange […]
I’m a pretty private person. The ‘Rhonda’ I take to work is not the same ‘Rhonda I let my friends and family see. At work, I prefer not to show my emotions. I may be a big marshmallow in my personal life, but at work I don’t want those tears to flow. I don’t want […]
It will get worse When you are dealing with your difficult person, you can expect that they will get worse before they get better. This is a good sign. We are all familiar with the old saying “If you keep on doing what you always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” We […]
Any time you can avoid creating tension in your conversations with your difficult person, the better! Take responsibility for what you need, want, have, hear etc. Instead of saying “You need to….” say instead “I need…” I’m not telling you that you will get what you need, but I am decreasing a defensive reaction by […]
Sniper attacks are those public displays disguided as “I was just joking” attacks that hurt. Typically they happen in very public places (like office meetings) where the goal is to embarrass you in front of your peers. “Ooohhhh, Rhonda is all dressed up today. Are you leaving us Rhonda, do you have a job interview?” On […]
You’ve all heard the expression “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got” .. so DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! If every morning you wake up and hope that your difficult person is going to “get it” today, you aren’t doing anything different. Try a new behavior pattern […]
A former colleague of mine has complete conversations in his head with people that he is angry with, and rarely directly with the other person. This anger in his head continues to build because of his frustration, yet he never lets the other person know that he is frustrated and subsequently angry. It got so […]
Be sure to always evaluate your interactions with difficult people. You won’t learn new skills if you are not evaluating how you are doing. Use the “liked best” and “next time” approach this week. After you’ve had any contact with your DP, ask yourself “What did I like best about how I handled myself with […]
Don’t be a bully when you are confronting your difficult person. It is tempting to want to have our say and then end the conversation. That makes you part of the problem, not part of the solution. Be willing to have a two-sided conversation, not a one-sided lecture. Think through what you want to say, […]
Don’t interrupt. When someone is ‘exploding’ on you (having a verbal outburst that feels like an attack), bite your tongue. The average angry explosion last 45 seconds. That is a long time when someone is yelling at you. Concentrate on not interrupting them. Let them finish. Quite frankly, even if you do interrupt, they won’t […]
When you are having a confrontation or difficult conversation, never bring “others” into it. Stay away from saying “Mary has the same problem with you” or “I’m not the only one who feels this way.” When others are brought into the conversation it takes away the focus from your intent and will distract from the […]
If you are dealing with your difficult person (or having your confrontation) over the telephone, have your conversation standing (instead of sitting). While standing, our voice is deeper, thereby projecting more confidence. While seated, your voice is not nearly as effective. Practice by recording your voice mail standing tomorrow morning. Listen to the difference!
When dealing with your difficult person it is important to remember the importance of body language. Your words, tone and body language must match. Experts tell us that crossed arms indicate we are defensive or not listening. This may or may not be true. When dealing with your difficult person we would not want to […]
Maintain eye contact while dealing with your difficult person. It won’t be easy, but you will want to ensure you don’t look down (looks like you are being chastised), nor do you want to look up (looks like you are rolling your eyes), nor do you want to look uncomfortable (even though you may be). […]
Each person behaves in a certain way because there is a payoff to that behaviour. A child misbehaves in a grocery store because the payoff is that her mommy will buy her a candy bar to keep her quiet. A co-worker deliberately does a poor job at work when delegated to so that he is […]
If you are attending a meeting this week, and your difficult person is attending, make a point to sit BESIDE her, not across the table from her. When you position yourself across the table you are placing yourself in a potentially adversarial position. By putting yourself beside your difficult person you are in a position […]
Difficult behaviour is usually “learned” behaviour (as opposed to deliberate). Somewhere along the way your difficult person “learned” that when they do “x” they get “y.” What that means to you: They aren’t necessarily targeting you, but are repeating a technique that has worked for years. Don’t take it personally, it probably isn’t about you. […]
When someone does or says something that is inappropriate, you have 24 hours to address the situation. If you wait longer than 24 hours, you have ‘allowed’ that behavior to continue.
