By Rhonda Scharf, CSP

When you are dealing with your difficult person, you can expect that their behaviour will get worse before it gets better. This is a good sign. This means that they are noticing that something has changed, and are digging in their heels to get what it is that they need.

We are all familiar with the old saying “If you keep on doing what you always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” We know that with our difficult person, we have to do something different. We know that we want to move from their normal/regular response to do something different (and hopefully less difficult).

You can expect that as you practice different responses, or different strategies, that you will confuse your difficult person. That confusion (or lack of a payoff on their part) will require them to do something different.

When you decide what your strategy is, keep with that strategy (don’t change it) for a minimum of five times. If after keeping consistent with this approach you find that it isn’t working, or they are becoming much more difficult, then you can change your approach.

Initially they will be surprised, and then they will get more difficult. After five consecutive times of you implementing your strategy you will notice that they are either getting easier to do deal with, or more difficult. You decide if you want to be a little more firm (or stubborn) with your approach, or it makes sense to try something different.

After five times you will notice a change. Be consistent though and good luck.