How to Self-Advocate When Dealing With Difficult People
Written by: Chi Whitley
Junior Content Marketing Specialist at Siege Media who graduated from Rhodes College in 2016 with a B.A. in English with a specialization in writing.
When Chi isn’t writing blogs or creating content, you can find him outside hiking or playing disc golf with friends in Austin, TX.
Working full-time or even having a part-time job can be difficult and exhausting. What can make it more unbearable is having a difficult boss, manager, or coworker to deal with.
Maybe they’re too negative or aren’t clear with their directions. Or, they run on emotions rather than thinking things through and having measured responses. Regardless of their shortcomings, it is most likely making your workday more difficult, which can induce stress and exhaustion.
One way to better communicate with a difficult employee is for you to implement self-advocacy.
Self-advocacy is the skill of speaking up for yourself and communicating your worth to others. This skill is especially important to implement when someone is demanding too much of your time or is having an emotional moment that could have been better handled. Below you will find ways to self-advocate in both your personal and professional life when communicating with a difficult person.
How to Personally Self-Advocate
- Present Your Ideas
Standing up for yourself and speaking your mind can be difficult in environments where you don’t feel acknowledged or heard. However, no matter your background, you have valuable options and insight. When you find yourself in a situation at work or outside of it, present your ideas confidently and be ready to discuss them. For example, if you are trying to delegate pieces of a project and your manager doesn’t feel comfortable due to them being a perfectionist or not trusting their employees, then clearly explain each person’s role to both them and the manager at the same time, which helps ensure that nothing is lost in translation. End your email or in-person meeting with questions you can address.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Asking for help is a difficult self-advocacy skill to achieve but it can dramatically change the way you live and work. On days when you feel overwhelmed know that it is okay to ask for help. Asking for help can be handing off a project or portion of a project to a co-worker. It can also be advocating for yourself to your boss or supervisor by saying that you have too much on your plate to get what was requested of you in the required timeframe. Thus, you should ask what is a priority and what can be offloaded or pushed until a later date.
- Say No, and Learn How to Do it Correctly
Saying no can be hard at home and can feel impossible at work. Especially if you’re in a new role or looking to be promoted soon. However, learning to say no is necessary at times. The first step towards mastering the art of saying no is to know yourself and know your limits. When one of those limits is in jeopardy and you feel overwhelmed or won’t be able to produce satisfactory work, then find an alternative solution.
Here are several ways to say no:
- “I have X, Y, Z on my plate. I can get to your request now or afterward. What is the priority of these projects?”
- “I appreciate you asking me to help. However, I am unfamiliar with this project or software. Perhaps we can find someone else who is more adept at it.”
- “Unfortunately, I cannot get to this right now. Let’s work together to find a solution.”
If you want to practice your self-advocacy skills for any area of your life, use this worksheet below and answer these prep questions to help identify your goals and communicate your needs.
Lastly, know that self-advocacy is hard to achieve. To better master the skill use the worksheet below from JobHero to help you self-advocate for yourself in different scenarios. You can find more tips on how to self-advocate in negotiations or job interviews here.
Personal Self-Advocacy Worksheet
