12 Ways to Deal With a Difficult Coworker
Indeed Career Guide
Posted on www.indeed.com/career-advice
July 23, 2020
Almost everyone has to work with a challenging coworker at some point in their career. Getting along with this person is an important part of developing your conflict resolution skills and learning to overcome adversity. As you learn how to work around their quirks or difficult behaviors, you can focus more on your own work and coworkers you enjoy. In this article, we share how to deal with a difficult coworker.
Related: The Best Ways to Get Along With Coworkers (Plus Tips and Examples)
The importance of knowing how to deal with a difficult coworker
Knowing how to deal with a difficult coworker is an important life skill. Although you may enjoy many of the people you work with, you should know how to work with people you find difficult. Learning how to manage conflicts can help you maintain a more harmonious work environment. As you learn to accept or confront their behaviors, you can begin to focus on yourself and those you enjoy more.
Related: The Most Effective Ways to Interact with Challenging Employees
How to deal with a difficult coworker
Follow these 12 steps to handle a difficult coworker:
1. Learn to voice your thoughts
If your coworker is making it difficult for you to feel comfortable at work, it may be time to confront the situation. When sharing how they make you feel, use “I” language so they better understand your perspective. Using “you” language may make it difficult for them to accept responsibility for their actions. Here are a few examples of “I” versus “you” language:
- “I feel upset when you talk to me that way.” vs. “You always say the wrong things.”
- “I would like you to treat our team with respect.” vs. “You only care about yourself.”
- “I find that your behavior makes it hard for me to focus.” vs. “The way you act is irritating.”
Related: Interview Question: “How Do You Handle Conflict in the Workplace?”
2. Get to know their perspective
Sometimes getting to know your challenging coworker’s perspective can make it easier to get along with them. After getting to know them better, you may realize that their background and life experiences shape their behavior and point of voice. Although you deserve to be treated with respect, this insight may help you understand the way they see things.
3. Focus on your positive relationships
Rather than dwelling on this coworker, shift your focus to those you enjoy being around. Make an effort to form positive relationships with your other coworkers. Casual conversations with uplifting people throughout the day can make you feel happier at work. Consider asking one of your favorite coworkers to do something fun outside of work.
4. Talk to your supervisor
When this person begins to break company policies or is negatively impacting your work, it may be time to bring up the issue to your supervisor or human resources department. Document this coworker’s adverse behaviors so you have proof of what they have been doing. Your supervisor or human resources department is supposed to find ways to resolve this conflict and make you feel safe and respected at work.
5. Accept their personality
You may find that this coworker isn’t doing anything wrong, but you simply don’t enjoy their personality. This is a normal part of life, as you find people you enjoy and people you want to avoid. Learn to accept that you need to get along with this person. Try to find things you enjoy about their personality and give them a chance to show their good side.
6. Stay neutral at work
If other coworkers are talking about this person, keep your opinions to yourself. Remaining neutral is how you can help maintain a positive work environment for everyone. If you must talk about this person, save it for a friend or family member who is not connected to your work. Save your energy at work for discussing positive things about others.
Related: How To Communicate Effectively With a Difficult Team
7. Limit your interactions
Limiting the amount of time you spend with this coworker can help you cope with the situation. You may find that you can handle them in small doses. At lunch or during meetings, stay by coworkers who you find kind and uplifting. When limiting your interactions, make it subtle in order to be mindful of their feelings.
8. Be the better person
Even if this person acts unprofessionally, it’s important that you have the skills to be the better person. By continuing to treat others with kindness and respect, you’re showing that you are the more mature person in this situation. It’s best to deal with these kinds of conflicts in private rather than bringing other coworkers into it.
9. Know your trigger points
Reflect on which behaviors of theirs you find the most challenging. This way, if they begin to exhibit these actions, you can immediately remove yourself from the situation. This technique can help you stay calm and collected at work. Focus directing your energy and passion toward things that really matter.
10. Focus on the positive
Though it may be easy to focus on this coworker, direct your attention to what you love about your job. This may be your other coworkers, the actual work you do or your job’s perks. Being grateful for the good things in your life can make this one challenging part seem smaller.
11. Reflect on your own actions
While thinking about this coworker, think about the way you act toward them. You may find that you both have developed a feedback loop of behavior. Be the person who breaks this loop and try treating them with kindness for a change. You may find that they return the kindness, and you both can move forward.
Related: Interview Question: “How Would Your Coworkers Describe You?” (With Examples)
12. Show compassion
Everyone has their own things to deal with, which could explain the way your coworker acts. Try to show empathy and compassion as you get to know this person better. You may find that if you were in their situation that you would act similarly.
