September 2nd, 2008
Difficult behaviour is usually “learned” behaviour (as opposed to deliberate). Somewhere along the way your difficult person “learned” that when they do “x” they get “y.” What that means to you: They aren’t necessarily targeting you, but are repeating a technique that has worked for years. Don’t take it personally, it probably isn’t about you.
For instance: A child learns at a very young age that when they make noise they get attention. As they grow, they learn the crying gets them attention. At a certain age, that crying turns to yelling, or saying inappropriate things. Your difficult person wants attention, and they have learned that by doing “something” they get that attention. That isn’t about you, it is about attention for your difficult person.