Learn to Play Nice
I think it’s safe to say that all of us, at one time or another, have had to deal with a difficult person at work. But the good news is, you do not have to let them get the better of you! Below are proven tactics that can help you get past a co-worker’s difficult behavior.
From Know-It-Alls to Hecklers
Everyone has met these people. You may not have taken the time to categorize them, but difficult people generally fall into the following categories according to a Huffington Post article:
- Talk hogs – dominate the discussion, either in a positive or negative way
- Know-it-alls – chime in whenever, about whatever, no matter what is being discussed
- Resenters – use dismissive hostility to make it known they would rather be anywhere else but at work
- Hecklers – use off-putting remarks, backhanded compliments, and tasteless jokes
- Gripers – constant complainers, always pointing out the negative side
No matter what kind of difficult behavior these people subscribe to, the air can be sucked right out of the room, and productivity screeches to a halt. It’s been said before and it will be said again, the only person you can truly control is you, so don’t let Debbie Downer or Steve the Bully get to you!
Don’t Let Them Push Your Buttons
There are four tactics to utilize to keep difficult people from getting a rise out of you:
- Keep emotion in check; stick to the facts of the situation, calmly state what you know, and what you can do to help
- Consider an alternative; in some cases it’s better to remove yourself from the situation (especially if the person just rubs you the wrong way and there is no way of getting past it) or engage a third party as an intermediary
- Don’t personalize it; when others are being difficult, sometimes the easiest course is to take it personally. Don’t; because it usually doesn’t have anything to do with you
- Collect yourself; for example, if you are conversing with a difficult person on the phone, pause and take a deep breath before responding, sometimes that moment makes all the difference in the world
Not matter what technique you may engage to deal with a difficult person, the situation may not be able to be diffused. In this case remember, only address the unwanted behavior, and not the person. No one benefits when it crosses the line and becomes personal.
I recently encountered a know-it-all when I was presenting to a group of about 35 individuals. She constantly interrupted and tried to correct me. It could have really rattled me, but I did not personalize it. I found out later that she does this to compensate for her own lack of self-esteem. I didn’t realize this until I personally witnessed her crying in front of another presenter. It took me back – I realized then that she was not the person who I thought she was.
Safety First, My Friends
Difficult can cross to scary before you know it, so be mindful of workplace safety for yourself and others. Remember the following:
- Ask for help from others
- Don’t get cornered
- Avoid being alone with a difficult person
- Try not to turn your back on a difficult person
- Don’t take it personally
Article by, Timothy Dimoff